Torquay (Australia)

Torquay (pronounced SHIT-PLACE-TO-LIVE) is a miserable "town" in the Southwest of Victoria, Australia. It is located off the Great Ocean Road, a horrid excuse of modern coastal infrastructure that will inflict severe nausea upon anyone unfortunate enough to drive it's endless winding length. Torquay barely qualifies as a beach town, just barely bordering the cold and icy Tasman Sea. Though many of Southern Victoria's towns are backwards, such as Lorne, Torquay may be the worst the state has to offer. The weather is absolutely fucking wretched, being windy, freezing and completely vile on even the hottest of Australian summer days. The "community" if you can call it that, is made up of bogans who have evolved to endure the horrors of Torquay, as they have been here for millions of years, actually first evolving from the Torquaytherium, an amphibian which endured the cold and reached the coast despite being completely incompetent. Because of this, the "people" of Torquay are actually not related to people at all, and are closer genetically to salamanders. The sky in Torquay specifically is perpetually grey, no matter the weather. It is the only place in Australia where Geelong is considered an improvement.

Bogan 1: Hey mate! How was Torquay (Australia)?

Torquay Victim: I require mental reevaluation.