church pimp

pronunciation key (chûrch - p^imp)

n. one who hooks up with persons within the same congregation but commits to none.

christian 1: "on the DL I saw Simon at the Bar hooking up with Jona"
christian 2: "OH WERD!? I thought he was hittin' linda"
Both in unison: "CHURCH PIMP!!! CHURCH PIMP!!! CHURCH PIMP!!!"

20👍 13👎

Christ Church

Biggest and best of all the Oxford Colleges, founded by Cardinal Wolsey and subsequently re-founded by Henry VIII. The only College to have a Cathedral as its Chapel. 'Nuff said, really...

Pembroke person: Gosh, I wish Christ Church had accepted me. As it is, I'm stuck in this shithole across the road.

29👍 21👎

Callum Church

A different type of turd which wont flush, a much more difficult one to flush!

Person 1 - Wuu2?
Person 2 - This damn callum church won't flush!

7👍 3👎

Catholic church

What liberals blame for world hunger and all other problems.
They call it racist even though every latino is catholic

Liberal: Dam it the catholic church made my car break down

217👍 225👎

Church Raped

This is what happens to you when u feel a "higher power" come about you. commonly known as an epithany or somethin like that.

"Man, Last night i was church raped"
"Oh man what happened"
"i had a dream that god said i was gunna die"
"ur fucked buddy"

20👍 14👎

church banger

A person that attends religious services with the intention of getting a booty call.

I tried to pick up this chick at mass last Sunday, but she figured out that I was just a church banger.

5👍 2👎

Church Biscuit

The paper-thin, paper-tasting wafer given to brainwashed Catholic disciples during Mass.

Priest: Body of Christ
Church-goer: Nah bro, church biscuit!!!
Priest: WTF?
Church-goer: Blah, this tastes like paper mache.

5👍 2👎