I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

KSFWLN I&I, INC

THE WARFARE HEADQUARTERS HOUSE, OF THE ROLE IN THE CORPS THE COMMANDANT OF THE CADETS IN THE CADETS. VANGUARDMIL.COM, IS THE HOME OF THE U.S. ARMED FORCES, UNITED STATES MILITARY SERVICES AND THE SELECTIVE SERVICE SYSTEM, TITLE 10 OF THE U.S. CODE, IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, IN THE U.S.A

KSFWLN I&I, INC IS THE WARFARE HEADQUARTERS

I zVortex I

The goat of siege

“OMG I’m sooo wet right now because I have I zVortex I in my bed”

Things I think while I shit

Shit shart. Shitilly shart. Shit shoot shitilly shart. Shartilly shit shoot. Shootilly shit shat... Shart... I wish I could optimize my shit texture... I'd have to be some kind of weird dork to live like that though... "Hey, Hym. Why do you only eat gummy bears?" "Oh, yeah. Because it keeps my shit both dry and moist enough to minimize the amount of wiping I have to do" They'd think I was insane... Until they tried it... Then they would realize I'm the greatest mind the world has ever seen....

Hym "I don't actually only eat gummy bears but there is an optimal texture and if I could only find it... I would never have to wipe again! But these are the things I think while I shit."

I want it, I got it

An iconic line, that turned into a saying, from ‘7 rings’, the 2nd lead single of ‘thank u, next’, by the American songwriter, producer and singer, Ariana Grande.

‘You like my hair? Gee, thanks! Just bought it. I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (Yeah)’.

1: What’s your favorite Ariana Grande line?
2: ‘I want it, I got it’! It’s so catchy.

I Drink and I Know Things

A t-shirt from Walmart typically worn by fat bearded hipster liberals as a means of flaunting their belief that they are mentally superior and misdirecting their unhealthy lifestyle. A term made popular by Peter Dinklage character Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones.

Andrew is a male feminist simp who can often be seen with a craft beer and a scruffy beard wearing an “I drink and I know things shirt”, talking about how white men and capitalism are the reason racism exists and singing the praises of Joe Biden.

I See I See

A excuse word when you have no words/other way to respond to something your told or explain.

Friend: And that's how my granny got rocked by a autistic gorilla

You: I see I see