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A person who insists on talking or texting but doesn't provide any meat to the conversation, thus wasting your time.
John: "I'm so fed up with Teresa; she's a total phone vegan."
Conversation of a phone vegan:
Teresa: Hi.
John: Hey, what's up? How have you been?
Teresa: Nuthin. Good.
John: ... That's good. What did you want to talk about?
Teresa: Idk.
Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.
I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!
The Act Secretly Masturbating While Telling People You Need to Charge Your Phone,
This Comes from the uses of the 'Wank Band Product'
Girlfriend: "Where Did You Go?!?!?!?!?"
Guy: "Sorry I was Chargin The Phone
Following closely behind someone while using your phone so you won't run into anything.
See also: People Drafting
"I need to send a text to Jimmy. Mind if I phone draft you for a minute?"
"Walking through San Francisco is annoying. At one point there were three people phone drafting me."
guy: spirit phone
other guy: lemon😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨
A functional mobile cellular communications device that is cobbled together from various random, unusable or even un-related components.
Shit, man. That new iPhone costs over a grand! $250 hot or off the Dark-Net...Looks like I get to keep my Chinese Franken-phone 'till those prices drop to reasonable.
14👍 3👎
Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE
Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.
265👍 118👎