deck monkey

A young person that is freshly trained as crew to operate on ship or airliner, and usually knows all theory, but has no experience, and therefore can only be useful as the captain's bitch, to fetch coffee. Like a pirate's little pet monkey that also gets a uniform.

Captain to Operations: Hey Steve, when you see my deck monkey, tell him to come tie my shoe lace... I'm sick of that 19 year old, 200 hour excuse of a pilot that thinks his opinion matters. Why the fuck do you hire these pizza face twats?

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bbq on the deck

I conspicuous way for someone to say this: when one uses ones penis to have sexual intercourse on another's boobs.

Would you like to come over and BBq on the deck?

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deck change

In a card game, to bring in a new deck of cards, often by calling out "Deck change!" Some players do this for good luck.

Nobody was very lucky, so everyone called for a deck change.

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top deck

To have a wank while taking a crap. Originates from the Cadbury chocolate bar of the same name which is half white choc and half brown.

"I'll be out in a minute, I'm just having a quick top deck!"

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Man On Deck

A large fart that is lodged behind a turd.

I thought I had to fart but I had a Man On Deck.

I really gotta fart but I got a Man On Deck.

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hump the deck

When you're compelled to say "jump the deck" but then hit the "h" key instead of the "j" key.

As Metal Shadow 666 would say.

Dude: HIT THE DECK!
Dude 2 goes to hump the deck
Dude: O_o
Dude 2: jump*

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swabbing the deck

the act of pooping on your partners chest and rubbing it in with your butt cheeks during sexual intercourse.

i met this girl at a party once . i thought i was kinky. she requested that i donkey punch her and i was down for it but before i donkey punched her she wanted me to start swabbing the deck

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