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A short guy, who won't allow his wife or girlfriend to wear high heels, because it makes her taller then himself. Name appropriately after Tom Cruise: The Scientology Midget of Hollywood.
"Good thing I don't have Tom Cruise complex. My girlfriend has a closet filled with platform boots."
64👍 17👎
When you buy a 30 pack of beer (must be an underage purchase) and then proceed to drive around town drinking in the car with your friends causing all sorts of destruction and mayhem. Can also include being parked on a stranger's property whilst you drink.
"Shit, we have nowhere to drink tonight and I want to cause chaos"..."Well then, let's do a cruise 'n crack.
When a Scandinavian prostitute urinates on you whilst fully inserted during intercourse
I can't believe the mess I left behind in that Amsterdam hotel room after I took Viking River Cruises all night long
When you stand on an apple box to have sex up against a wall because you're too short otherwise.
Hey Jeremiah, that chick is too tall for you.
Don't worry Ben, I can fuck her Tom Cruise Style.
To be so intoxicated as one would be during an ocean voyage aboard a cruise ship, where people sometimes get extremely intoxicated, more so than they would on dry land.
"Wow, did you see that girl stagger into that pole? Man, she was Cruise Ship Drunk!"
25👍 7👎
Cooler packed with gourmet food
Don't pack a bown bag lunch on this job
We got Tony the Tiler. That sweetest plum squeeze of his sends him off with cruise ship lunches. Oh yeah words out that feed is 3 star.
Usually happens during a two person group. One person will get stuck doing all the work. While the other slacks off and plays Tap Tap Revolution 3 on his iPhone.
Dude 1: "Fuck man, I got stuck with that guy again."
Dude 2: "Who him? Yeah, total tool man. He usually nods off and goes into Tom Cruise Control."
15👍 5👎