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When you have a turd so big you bend over twice to push it out. This will result in a Two Pound Butt Splasher.
"I ate so much cheese it gave me a double lap leaner."
An act of revenge usually performed on a ex-girlfriend. Very simular to a Donkey Punch. When your are having angry sex with your ex. You put hot sauce on the condom. Insert your cock into her cornhole and with in a few seconds your ex-girlfriend will start flailing around the room running around smashing into random objects as if her asshole was on fire.
Damn bro our roommate was banging her ex boyfriend he came out her room ass naked and did a kentucky hot lap around the apartment.
A lap-legged ho is a person having the tendency to wrap their legs around any person, place, or thing. And have the capability of fitting anything between their legs. A magical ho.
"Bernard, stop being a lap-legged ho and get that from between your legs."
Someone who blindly suck up to a master and follow all of his order
Howard is Victor's and Johnny's loyal lap dog, he once followed these two to the male toilet to lick off their tasty pee
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the final marijuana smoke of the night.
Jay: one more lap?
Ant: yeah, pack a fat one.
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A short, "spunky" or "perky" woman who wears high heels to compensate for her inferior height, wears power suits, always has a cell phone against her ear, and talks about her great corporate job. Lap dog women are usually thin (but can be chunky), are "cute," and always say that everything else is cute ie "that skirt is soooo CUTE!" Lap dog women often order coffee drinks that are excrutiatingly precise, ie "I'll have a grande skim half-caf soy mocha with sugar-free caramel, extra foam, 180 degrees, and no whip." Lap dog women also wear lots of makeup, are always having their hair done, hit the gym, and drive SUVs or jettas and acuras. Lap dog women perceive themselves as "together," "hip," "organized," and "upbeat." Others perceive them as ambitious soccer moms who just haven't let themselves go (yet). Lap dog women are usually in their 20s and 30s, newly married, and probably rely on their husbands to pay the real bills so they can keep buying $400 handbags. Many lap dog women were members of sororities in college and majored in business in college (particularly marketing). Lap dog women do not usually earn graduate degrees, although some opt for the MBA. Lap dog women are symbols of corporate success and mainstream, mind-numbingly mundane and superficial US culture. Lap dog women exist throughout the US, but are most frequently seen in southern California and in larger cities in the Midwest. It is their dream to land a great corporate job in New York City (of course) where they would have more access to "cute" designer clothes. Lap dog women are known for their fake and perky "can-do" attitude, saying "great" and "cute" and for pronouncing every vowel as if it were 10,000 shorts A's ie "I haave to go to the baa--(like a sheep)--hroom."
I had to wait for my coffee for three hours because there was a lap dog woman in front of me.
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1. The mucilaginous issue of reverse peristalsis, in cases where said vermiculation is the denouement of overly ambitious fellatio.
2. The sudden, steaming end of a throat-fuck.
3. When you get a blowjob from a drunk girl and she throws up in the middle of it.
"I kept a firm grip on his ears and pulled until I felt the warm lap blanket flowing over my legs."
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