Aaron’s chair

A chair with a dildo on it.

I got Aaron’s chair for my birthday. Pretty excited.

Two Chair

Def 1. A person who is so large that they could easily occupy two chairs due to the size of their butt.

Def 2. One who cannot comfortably (or struggles to) sit on a chair because of their size.

Note: Depending on the fatness of the person, this term can be adapted to 3 chair, 4 chair, or 5 chair. Anything after 5 chair the joke becomes stupid.

"Hey man, check out that Two Chair on your right."

"Wow, that's more like a 2.5 Chair."

"Yea, definitely your team."

Speaking chair

When you are pushing in your chair and it makes a fart noise and everyone turns towards you with the utmost disgust.

Me:*Pulls in seat - Chair makes weird noise*
Person:Are you fucking kidding me? Again!? You know we aren't aloud to open windows in this class!!!
Me:B-but it was a Speaking chair, trust me!!!

#Awkward #Chair #Speaking #School

Floating Chair

Hovering over the toilet seat when taking a shit because the seat is freezing.

dam dude, i had to floating chair this morning it was so cold out!

Chair Mover

When one lets an unsuspecting fart go that rattles the entire floor causing a sound that could be confused with the moving of a chair across a linoleum floor.

Typically causes other inhabitants of the room to question, did you just move your chair?

We were listening to the priest's sermon when I heard Darnell let out a chair mover!

chair wedgie

A wedgie where the victim's underwear are pulled up over the back of the chair, leaving them sitting in a painful wedgie.

I'm about to give this nerd a massive chair wedgie

Chair Male

A type of male that has developed the ultimate technique for asserting dominance. They walk over to you, steal your chair, and then sit upon it, making it stinky due to their forceful butt sweat. After this they leave, often performing the stanky leg as they walk away. They then judge you for not being able to tolerate the extreme stank of your recently dankified chair.

Kings are the ultimate Chair Males- they literally sit on thrones all day long, and then force other people to wipe their butt. They then commit tax evasion while forcing starving peasants to perform labor while crapping in holes.