buy one vend one free

When a person goes to a vending machine intending to buy an item and that item is barely hanging on to the barricade that prevents it from falling. The person then buys the item and two items fall from the same row.

Dude, I went to go buy some sour patch kids and the idiot before me only had a dollar and his sour patch kids got stuck. I got to buy one vend one free.

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can I buy you a drink?

This phrase is recognised as the best way to attract members of the opposite sex. Let's face it, who dosen't want a free drink?

Can I buy you a drink?


Sure.

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Can i buy a question mark?

A question used to show how you have no idea what someone is talking about. It comes from Wheel of Fortune when a contestant does not know the correct answer so they say "Can I buy a question mark?" instead of "Can I buy a vowel?"

Teacher: What is a detriment of space reconnaissance?

Student: Can i buy a question mark?

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i buy most of my shit

"i buy most of my shit" refers to an individual whom buys most of his shit. Using "i buy most of my shit" can also refer to a type of behaviour which is triggered when the individual buys most of his shit.

This term, should never be used to "troll" or "mock" an individual, with only ONE exception:
- If the individual does buy most of his shit, it can not be offensive in any way, therefore it shall be freely used.

"i buy most of my shit"
"I buy most of my Shit"
"IBMOMS"

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Passing by to buy tires for my daughter

"Passing by to buy tires for my daughter" is slang in the United States Marine Corps for laying siege to, seizing, and controlling fueling facilities during combat operations or civil unrest

"Gas prices are through the roof right now. I was over at Costco this morning passing by to buy tires for my daughter and the line was 4 cars deep on each pump. Naturally I told the attendant "I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me the pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I’ll spare your lives. Just walk away; I will give you safe passage in the wasteland. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror."

You buying what I'm selling?

do you understand?

Person A: I mean i like him but i don't. You buying what I'm selling?

Person B: yea

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Don't Buy Bananas on Trash Day

If you buy bananas on trash day, all the fruit flies will find their way into your home because of people's trash bins being moved about. Much like "Don't tempt fate", this is a phrase used to call someone out for their own foolish mistakes, or to warn them that if something can go wrong, it likely will go wrong.

Bride: "Awe man! I spilled catsup on my wedding gown!"
Mother-in-Law To Be: "Well, that's why you don't buy bananas on trash day."