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A handful of free-range nutjobs like Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh
Donald Trump bases his policies on the grand traditions of conservative intellectual opinion.
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A person who wants to appear progressive, but is actually a fascist.
“I’m socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. I care about people but not enough to see them cared for on a systemic level.”
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The universal scientific law which states that for every ass-eater, there must be an accompanying ass-eatee to maintain the balance between both sides of the ass-eating spectrum. For every person who claims to be both, there must also exist a person that claims to be neither. Similar to Newton’s Law of Equal and Opposite Reactions.
Person 1: Dude I absolutely love eating ass, what about you?
Person 2: Actually, I enjoy getting my ass eaten, which means the two of us successfully satisfy the Law of Ass Eating Conservation
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An elite organization strictly focused on studying and protecting Water Pandas and their natural habitat.
1.Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I think about how my life has no meaning. Becoming a member of the The Water Panda Conservation Project (WPCP) will make me appear to be a good person with a life purpose.
Our times are regressing to new forms of unjustified persecution never seen before. Wake up folks. The great culling online has begun. Who's going to stand up to the media and silicon valley regime?
Reporter walks up to old lady conservative.... 'Did you know you are a Russian bot"
Lady: no I am not.
Reporter: but it shows on your Facebook that you support the 2nd amendment and have a distrust in the media as well as believe in small government.
Lady: excuse me? Are trying to false label me into silence?
Reporter: well the Russians control your Facebook page and we believe you colluded with them.
Lady: my family fought for free speech. Let's have a war with YOU the media and companies silencing conservatives.
The Great Online Conservative/Libertarian Culling makes me want to help start a new fresh revolution.
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The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.
An example,
Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.
They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)
Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.
Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*
Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.
For another example, see black and white thinkers.
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Don't let Ben Shrimpo fool ya. He's fake. He literally got caught on a mic saying "cut out the part where I said 'pansexual'". Don't believe me? There's more! Remember how he claimed that Trump would supposedly destroy conseratives? Stay away from him🍤
Ben Shapiro (A.K.A the fake conservative): Can you cut out the part where I said "pansexual"? Yeah that sounds kinda weird.
Me: Oh look who it is.
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