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When one member of a closed space farts at the same time as another, but that member's fart is so powerful that it overbears anything else.
Jim Steinman: I just farted.
Bonnie Tyler: Me too. But I only smell yours. There's nothing I can say but Total Eclipse of the Fart.
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A Total Carnegie Mellon University Move ("Total CMU Move," or "TCMUM"), defined as prefacing an uber-intelligent question or statement with something to the effect of, "I know this is a dumb question," or, "This is probably the stupidest thing you'll hear today," as some subtly patronizing way of letting everyone around you know you're smarter than them -- as though it were an utterance so far below the usual standards of your stunning intellect that you have to apologize for it.
Pierre de Fermat: "So I have this equation here, it's kinda hard to solve... But it goes something like this, a^n + b^n = c^n..."
Student: "Uh, Professor Fermat, excuse me for sounding like a total idiot asking something as basic this, but it appears to me that no three positive integers a, b, and c can satisfy that equation for any integer value of 'n' greater than two. Or am I just like way off here?"
Everyone thinking in unison: "Total CMU Move, dude."
Total Dickhead Event: a public drunken stupor so embarrassing, humiliating, and utterly mortifying as to convince the most hardend boozer to giving up the drink.
“I’ve been on the wagon since my Total Dickhead Event at Meghan and Harry’s wedding.”
The most horrifying form of torture/punishment in the known Universe. The Total Perspective Vortex (it's so mind bogglingly terrifying it even gets Capital Letters) is a small, featureless steel box, barely big enough for one man to stand in.
The hopeless victims stand in the Vortex, and are suddenly shown, for the merest instant, the whole of the Universe: the whole infinity of creation, spanning over several trillion light years, and countless millennia, with an insignificant dot saying "You Are Here".
The victims, totally demoralised by their experience, fall dead from the vortex, wherupon they become the burden of the Vortex' custodian, Pizpot Gargravarr.
To date, Zaphod Beeeblebrox (former President of the Galaxy, and "The best bang since the Big one") is the only man to have survived the vortex, solely because he is a hoopy frood and the Vortex told him as much.
The total perspective vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the principle of extrapolated matter analyses.
To explain - since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation - every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake.
The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically to annoy his wife.
Trin Tragula - for that was his name - was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
And she would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing spectrographic amalyses of pieces of fairy cake.
"Have some sense of proportion!" she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day.
And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex - just to show her.
And into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a single piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she saw in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it.
To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realised that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this siz, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
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When a scenario is complete nonsensical in every way
Kids always wanna ditch school instead of getting an education. That's total confunction nonsense
To act in a brash and thoughtless or tactless manner while completely disregarding the well-being of others. To be self-promoting AND self-assertive while downplaying the accomplishments and achievements of friends and loved-ones.
John: "Hey Kevin! Jessica and I got engaged this morning!"
Kevin: Oh uhhh Congrats? You realize that whole wedding thing is expensive as shit bro, not to mention the mortgage you took out to pay for that ring!
John: That was a Total Sweat Move Bro...TSM...
when there is absolutely no alternative to victory, and victory is expected, if not demanded, every time a team steps into the arena. commonly linked to the AKRON GOYA basketball team, and more recently, the AKRON volleyball team, in their curshing of the other GOYA competition. total domination can also carry over to the dance floor, where the strapping, young lads from AKRON seduce lady after lady, much to the jealousy of their competition. the "O" in "A.O.C", or AKRON owns canton/columbus/camp/etc. can be easliy interchanged with "totally dominates"
As the AKRON teamed stepped onto the court, there suddenly was no doubt that there was going to be total domination over the opponents from Canton.
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