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Absolution

Absolution: When you giving it to your wife from behind but you suddenly have the urge to take a big shit and your son comes right on time to swap you and you keep hearing your wife's moans as you lay down the biggest turd of the history of turds

Man 1 : I am so happy I have a family now, used absolution yesterday. Great way to bond more with your son
Man 2: I know its those small things that matter.

by geoxd657 April 13, 2018


Absolutely Jacked

Broghan.

Broghan is absolutely jacked as absolutely jacked is Broghan.

by Steenmachine December 25, 2021


The Relative/absolute fallacy

Similar to Ken Wilber's "Pre/trans fallacy", which is about conflating pre-rational views with trans-rational views, the Relative/absolute fallacy is about conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective. This is the main source of confusion in the forms of spirituality that deal with the implications of non-duality (Oneness).

There are generally two levels to the fallacy:

1. The first level is the conflation that happens when you don't have knowledge about the distinction between the relative and The Absolute (dual/non-dual). This is common in pre-rational religious people (Wilber). The way that traditional religion interprets various holy texts is itself a good example.

2. The second level happens when you do have knowledge about the distinction between relative and absolute (but it's obviously not complete knowledge). This is common in (aspiring) trans-rational people. A common example is to think that because nothing ultimately really matters, morality doesn't matter, and therefore it's fine to for example hurt other people. This is to conflate "the relative" with "The Absolute". From The Absolute perspective, yes, nothing really matters, but morality can only ever be defined "relative" to a certain value system in the first place. By taking the absolute perspective, you're deliberately stepping outside of all value systems, but "it's fine to hurt other people" would be a moral statement, which means you're actually invoking a relative perspective.

You're conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective ("The Relative/Absolute Fallacy").

Albert thinks he is God and nobody else is. Albert has committed the Relative/Absolute Fallacy.

by Carich99 December 24, 2020


Absolute Capital

Absolute Capital - Slang compound word referring to high amounts of wealth usually owned by a person or a company, that often used to describe the amount of money someone is generating off of an action or product.

Jack's making absolute capital off of making homemade RPGs and selling them to children.

by NiggyNiggyMyNigga April 28, 2020


absolute monkey

A braindead or an absolute illiterate.

This kid is an absolute monkey.

by Tc_goldie December 2, 2020


Absolute Luck

An extreme or large amount of luck.

Daniel: "John, I have absolute luck!"

John: "Really? What do you mean?"

Daniel: "I just landed over twenty bottles flips!"

John: "Dude, bottle flipping died off like years ago..."

by Brainless Maniac October 13, 2024


absolute imbecile

the types of people who don't like Numberblocks

Mark is an absolute imbecile.

by theamazingtritri October 28, 2021