Random
Source Code

Crowd Computing

A sub-section of Cloud Computing offered by service providers that under-invest in both server infrastructure and technical support staff.

Companies that outsource to them do not realise that they are being crammed in like sardines to the vendors infrastructure which is nowhere near adequate. They only start to realise they are up shit creek when they try to contact technical support for help only to be placed in the longest most painful telephone queue of their life.

Afghan: "None of our 1,000 employees can access their online email application, my CIO's already been fired and I'm next for the chop...I opened a support ticket with the vendor 5 days ago and this is the 26th time I've tried to get through to them on the phone...I am dead meat man, dead meat <sniff>."

Tragic: "Well Afghan, that's Crowd Computing for you."

by Tragic Stan November 17, 2010


computer killer

When u fun all over your laptop or computer due to hardcore masturbating

"I'm a computer killer"
"Whys that John?"
"Because I cummed all over my computer and it short circuited"

by Yolo butter balls January 10, 2016

2👍 1👎


computer guru

Someone who is extremely skilled with computers. A step above your run-of-the-mill computer genius.

When the Internet stopped working, Dave installed an Internet proxy server on his phone (which still had Internet), and reconfigured their wireless router to forward TCP/IP packets through his phone so that his family could still watch Netflix on their laptops. He is quite the computer guru!

by guy354 February 13, 2016


computer witness

A particular subgenre of computer geek. Someone who is obsessed with computers for the sake of computers and not for what they can do. Will often spend hours running performance tests and having "races" between different chips with various programs without ever getting any actual work done on said equipment.

Gene longs for the good old days of the Macs-vs-PCs war...those were some good times, up late with a flat of Mountain Dew and all his buddies racing their computers. Gene is a computer witness.

by DJ HORSERACING ACCIDENTS September 2, 2004


Computer Poddy

When you sit down for your 1st daily session at the computer, and 5 to 10 minutes later, you have to interrupt your computer session to go poddy.

I hate it! Every time I sit down at my computer, I have to get up and go computer poddy!

by PDXGrammarGirl January 15, 2011


Computer science

(n.) An insanely complex bunch of imaginate stuff to insanely create a model of the real stuffs with it in a complicated way.

Computer science is a bunch imaginative stuff, which at the same time does and does not exist, made out of numbers which create a place to put all the knowledge into it.

by SirDrFalkSigurdMildslaff October 20, 2019


Computer Snag

Using a temporarily open computer even though you know that someone was using it and will return momentarily.

My brother got pissed because I computer snagged him.

by commanderpoop May 19, 2009