i coughed and it went everywhere

u sneeze on ur period and it goes everywhere

“i coughed and it went everywhere”!!!

Turn Your Head and Cough

When a total stranger (a.k.a. certified doctor) grabs a pair of blue colorful gloves, or sometimes white if he's in a good mood. Asks you to drop your pants and underwear, studies your chode for a moment, thinks a sick joke about your size, politely asks you to "turn your head and cough." Reaches down, grabs your family jewels and "studies" them, while your thinking "is this guy really a doctor..."

Doctor Strange:

Ok, young man are you ready for your physical?

You:

Uhhhhhh, sure...

Doctor Strange:

Ok, so can you kindly unbutton your pants and take off your underwear so I can check?

You:

Uhmmmm check for what?

Doctor Strange:

Oh you funny boy I need to check your testicles if you have a sickness or else you won't be able to play any sports.

You:

Uhhhhmmmm, if you say so...

Doctor Strange:

"Hahaha, gets them every time... Oh we have another 3 incher"

Doctor Strange:

Ok, let me just get these little gloves here so we may begin. You ready. Turn your head and cough, please.

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Twilight Zone of Cough Medicine

The time of night from about 7-10 p.m. in which it is too late to take dayquil and too early to take nightquil without disturbing your sleep pattern.

I was dribbling all over myself last night, but it was in the Twilight Zone of Cough Medicine, so I couldn't do anything about it.

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Coughing Aunt Sally

A woman who talks in something other than sentences.

(referring to a crazy bag lady who just says "Coffeene!" or one of those so-called hot mamas saying "yo, yo" or something)

"That's one Coughing Aunt Sally, there"

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Coughing out of Both Ends

When you accidentally cough and fart at the same time.

I was coughing a lot last week, and I accidentally farted at one point. My mother was in the room, so I told her I was "coughing out of both ends" to hide the shame.

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Don't turn a cough in to a coffin

To make a situation worse by moaning about it before it has reached its natural conclusion.

"This bonfire night is shit. It's 9.30 and we haven't seen any fireworks yet"
"Chill out, don't turn a cough in to a coffin"

coughing induced seizures

.23% of all diening babies have them!

ohh my zeus that baby is having a coughing induced seizures.

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