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When a hoe keeps on getting on you so you shoot her
I had to use my last line of defense
Currently it is Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer who you cannot take serious because she is a career horny wannabe chancellor.
In order to increase the probability to be nominated for the chancellor job she just ran for the office of the Secretary of Defense.
She does not have any military experience neither.
She is also known as “Mini Merkel” because people compare her limply incompetent politics with Merkel.
Now the Bundeswehr (German Military) is fucked up again.
1: Do you know the German Secretary of Defense?
2: Before it was Ursula von der Leyen. But van der Leyen is now Commission President of the EU.
Now the Secretary of Defense of Germany is Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer.
What a difficult name, huh?
And again a limply person for an office next to Merkel.
Refers to a person's using the well-known prevalence of widespread fake/mass-advertising correspondence as an excuse for his not obeying/acknowledging a 100%-legitimate-but-unwelcome message he has received, such as a hefty bill, restraining order, or other upsetting/disappointing directive that he does not wish to comply with ("Well, it made no sense to me, so I honestly believed it was just a fake message, and simply shrugged it off"). The effectiveness and/or defense-worthiness of said practice --- and your chances of being let off the hook as a result --- can sometimes be further bolstered by "pre-innocentizing" yourself (such as frequently showing up in court for no reason and claiming every time that you'd received an order to appear, and then finally --- after being irritably told for the umpteenth time by the court-clerk that they'd never sent you a summons --- declaring in a frustrated huff, "Fine... well, I guess somebody's been playing sick jokes on me, so from now on I'm just gonna simply IGNORE any and all such notices I receive!") sometime before committing whatever infractions would likely result in said unwelcome orders, so that you can appear justified in your non-compliance with what you supposedly thought was yet another fake order.
I successfully used the spam/telemarketer defense when asked why I hadn't answered a court-summons; I just said, "Oh, that notice was REAL? Oh my --- well, I'd honestly believed it was a fake message... since I've had so many pushy telemarketers and con-men harass me --- sometimes even falsely claiming to be tax-auditors or law-enforcement personnel --- that I'd long ago adopted an 'ignore any and all such notices as fake' policy."
To blame a crime committed on your wife.
My client would like to plead the Borat defense.
A position in American football. It is on defense. Their body size is 6'2" or above, and 260 lbs or above. They bridge the gap between defensive tackles and linebackers. They are responsible for controlling the outside of the offensive line, deflecting passes, forcing/recovering fumbles, getting sacks or T.F.L., and sometimes, in rare cases, getting picks. Have to be strong, quick, and agile. Great position overall, just don't expect too much glory, unless you are a superstar. other names; D.E. , D- end, defensive lineman, etc. So simple, but even the simple job is not easy. Respect the D ends, and all d- linemen, they are just about the toughest men on the field.
Guy one: Dude, for fantasy football my defensive ends are Myles Garrett and Nick Bosa.
Guy two: Nice bro, I got Trey Hendrickson and Chase Young.
Guy one: They are all great players and will have a great season this year!
Guy two: Duh!!1
1) When an ultra “woke” liberal is so full of shit, they call out there own BS before you can.
2) A liberal that can read your thoughts, ESP, and scolds you for something you’re, supposedly, about to say or accuse them of.
3) A liberal who obstructs your ability to refute him/her/they/them/we/it/blaugh/
hugh?/whatever. They reference an attack on their position or themselves, before you do.
1) It: “Gender fluid” is a real term. I know because I heard it on The View. And, don’t mansplain to me that it’s not a real thing! Me: I’m teaching a biology class. Sit your nappy ass down, knock off the preemptive defensiveness, and learn something of real value, besides nonsensical feminazi terms.
2) It: Were you just about to “mansplain” how to fix my computer? Me: Um? You, sorry them, called the I.T. department because your computer wasn’t plugged into the wall. Stop your preemptive defensiveness and learn something the rest of the world already knows.
3) She: The male patriarchy is responsible for these tyrannical men hiring scantly dressed women at this facility. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about contracts, free will, customer requests, or that most of the employees are female! Men like you are the reason we, women, don’t make enough money to be liberated from the shackles of oppression! All men are controlling pigs, and you’re a disgusting, intolerant, misogynist. Me: No need for preemptive defensiveness Ms. Swift. These are the dancers you hired for your new music video. She: Oh. Well send them backstage and get me some coffee, peasant!
A self-defensive eye roll: a justified rolling of the eye, after another person has rolled their eyes at you.
1: don’t roll your eyes at me
2: you did it first it’s a self-defensive eye roll
3: okay fine that’s true