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The theory that if a girl likes marmite, she swallow after giving a blow job, and if she doesn't like marmite she'll spit.
'So I was getting head from Mary last night, but she doesn't like marmite so the end was a real buzz kill. Damn the marmite theory!'
The theory that a girl is more likely to become attracted to a guy who is a complete tool and treats her with little to none respect over a nice guy.
I bought her some flowers but when she answered the door there was some jerk there too. He just handed me a book on the Jerk Theory.
The theory that states; if a large mass of Africans are in one area at a given time the mass is so excessive that not even a white can escape from it's colossal force.
Boy 1: I'm on my way to your house. What street do you live on?
Boy 2: Well, you have to take MLK blvd to get there, but I'll tell you from there.
Boy 1: Turning around. Holy Shit...
Boy 2: Wait... Are you serious?
Boy 1: Yeah dude. No offense, but too many of 'your people' in one area can cause me to disappear off the face of the Earth. Have you never heard of The Blackhole Theory?!
Boy 2: Das Racist.
The theory that all modern day life originated from the distanf planet Rae. The Raemi peoples set forth on their voyage in the year 609, and projected their landing on our solar systems Sun. However, tragedy struck when the Sun flared, and their ships were subverted into a crash landing on Earth. The Raemi peoples lost most of their advanced resources, and were forced to adapt and evolve into the modern day human.
“Have you heard of the Raemi Theory? It’s, like, totally rad, dude!”
Within every atomic mass in creation exists an entire universe. Through the fusion of two atomic masses the universes within them collide to form one greater though unstable universe. Through division one atomic mass is split and so splits the universe within it into two smaller but much more stable universes. The universes within atomic masses lie dormant until either fusion or division.
If we assume that Kesler's Theory is true then we can also assume that the Big Bang Theory is also true and was the result of the fusion of two atomic masses in another universe.
The Armadillo Theory is the theory that once a specific arbitrary object or idea has been mentioned obscurely , or encountered randomly, that this time object or idea will suddenly appear more frequently in one's life. This is strictly based on noticing something that was already occurring in one's life, but without significance.
Once Karl mentioned to me that the armadillo was his favorite animal, I noticed how often I encountered armadillos in my daily life. This is why the theory is called the Armadillo Theory
"Innocence theory" is the theory in where if a person is rich, a politician, a movie star, owner of a company, or otherwise well-known - that they are automatically innocent no matter what the evidence is which shows them as guilty. Die hard believers in innocence theory tend to not even care if the person themselves had admitted to the conspiracy.
This makes a joke out of the people who don't know what the word "conspiracy" actually means, as the true definition of the word "conspiracy" is to *conspire* a crime.
"Oh, so you think Epstein killed himself in jail huh? And what about everyone else who would have wanted him dead? Oh they're innocent? So you believe in *innocence theory* huh?"
"Look, I get that all people are innocent until proven guilty. But to think someone is permanently innocent no-matter the evidence is ridiculous innocence theory."