you had one job

What bad guys say to their henchman when they either fail their task or get distracted.

Chicken Run lady: You had one job, Mr. Tweedy!

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Abby's Hand Job Hand

A hand job that is excruciatingly painful and is always given by an elegant girl. Often, the girl mistakes the male's squirms and cries of pain to be of pleasure. As a result, the girl's hands squeeze tighter. In origins, the ancient Mesopotamian name "Abby," was given to those of great power and beauty.

Derek: ahhh....ughhh....aaGGHHGHHH!

Abby: Harder? Okay!

Derek: ..ARRGGGNNNNHNLARIFAFIAFIIGGHHH..AHHH! AHHHGGHH ABBY'S HAND JOB HAND!! AGHHHHHHH!

Abby: What? Use both hands?

Derek: RAHGAHGHRGRHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHAGH!

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3/4 Blow Job

A 3/4 blow job is when a girl is giving a blow job and stops right before the man ejaculates (blows a load) and then the man ends up walking away disappointed.

My girlfriend was blowing me but ended up only giving me a 3/4 Blow Job so I dumped her ass!

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Brazilian purple paint job

When you put your dick into a Brazilian girl's anus and she clenches her butt checks so hard that when you pull out your penis is a nice bruised purple color.

"Dude, have you had a purple paint job before"

"Nah but i've had a Brazilian purple paint job, it's on a whole different level"

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Southwest Style Hand Job

A handjob that involves the hand going over the top of the penis as opposed to underneath it.

Mary is well known for her southwest style hand jobs.

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Pop Rockin Blow Job

A girl puts pop rocks (the candy) into her mouth and gives oral sex to a guy.

"I gave a pop rockin blow job to my boyfriend. It made me want to not to spit it out."

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Ice Cream Blow Job

1) The act of receiving oral sex and ejaculating on the giver's face and in their mouth (also on titties if they're available).

2) A song by Lewisville Slugga about receiving an ice cream blowjob.

1) How'd your date go? She gave me a ice cream blowjob! Nice.

2) That Ice Cream Blow Job song cracks me up!

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