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Random
Something that is absolutely necessary in a heatwave, for the old gooch.
Simon: oh my gooch is absolutely sodding in this heat.
Paul: oh you just need a tactical wipe simon, that’ll sort you out sir.
Using your knee in an upward sweeping motion like a soccer kick to wipe your ass. Commonly used by hand models and double amputees.
Ever since Leonard lost both arms in a mixer at a pancake breakfast he’s had to use the soccer wipe to clean up.
Not wiping ur ass after knowing you had a clean pinch. Trusting that your ass will not itch 20mins later from shit sticking to your butthole
I just took a huge duke on break. I took the wipe of faith and Im regretting it
someone so low, they lick the wipes used to wipe someones butt.
the rung below arse licker on the social ladder.
"Hey guess what Tom did last night!"
"what?"
"got with Harry's girlfriend!"
"That dude is such a wipe licker"
When you get done eating sauerkraut all day, after New Years and your asshole is so raw it hurts to wipe normal so you have to poke your butthole with toilet paper just so it doesn’t continue to hurt any worse and cause mass-bleeding from hemorrhoids.
Goddam I ate so much sauerkraut I had to poke wipe my chili ring all day it hurt so bad.
The year of the No Wipe. No one wipes their asshole 2021, everyone trusts their asshole to be clean and proper this year.
Person 1: “bro why do you smell like shit?”
Person 2: “sorry bro, it’s no wipe 2021.”
The accidental spreading of poop on your butt when wiping and not getting it fully removed.
Husband: I pooped but I think I had a wayward wipe because it still smells back there.
Wife: What is wrong with you?!?!