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American Football is the name given to a mass homoerotic orgy masquerading as a sport. It is only exceeded in man-loving gayness by the similar psuedo-sport of Wrestling. The main objectives of American Football are to:
1) Provide an extended opportunity for exceptionally fit and muscular men to run toward each other and proceed to grope and hug one another.
2) Provide many opportunities for selected football players to watch their spandex-wearing cohorts bend over and symbolically pass a turd-shaped object through their legs.
3) Provide an excuse for the entire football team to get naked together and shower in private.
Most players of American Football like their sex-play rough, as is evidenced by the nature of their activities while dressed up in fetish-wear for the occasion. Padding is used, particularly around the shoulders to give the men an exaggerated look of masculinity that adds to the raw erotic power they display to both their teammates and the opposing team.
Surprisingly, most participants and fans of American Football do not embrace their obvious homosexuality as readily as they embrace other participants/fans. Most will even deny any hint of homoeroticism inherent in the activity, despite its gaiety being greater than that of most civic Gay Pride parades. This paradoxical aspect is thought to enhance one's enjoyment of the activity, and could perhaps be seen as a type of role-play where gay men pretend to be heterosexual while engaging in or watching one of the most gay activities ever devised.
Man 1: "Did you see that American Football tackle!?"
Man 2: "Come here, you!!"
Other Man 1: "I'm going to the American Football game, dressed in a satin jersey because I like the way it rubs against my nipples when I cheer."
Other Man 2: "I'm going to the American Football game wearing seductive and sexy bodypaint over my exposed torso."
Other Man 3: "Come here, you guys!!"
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Nathan: Did you watch the American football last night?
Lawrence: Is that the sport where men of questionable sexuality covered in plastic jump on top of each other.
Nathan: Yeah, apparently they throw a 'ball' around as some sort of cover for the whole thing.
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A great sport that ignorant europeans and australians don't spend any time watching.
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Probably the most boring sport in the world. People standing around for minutes on end in silly science fiction costumes and occasionally running for a few seconds. Far too many rules and not enough flow. About as exciting as watching people play chess. Watch real football (the most popular sport in the world, for good reason) if you crave real excitement.
Patient: Doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping.
Doctor: Just watch some American Football and you'll be asleep in a few minutes.
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The depression that occurs during a day before football practice or other related activity.
person 1:John was always quiet and remorseful during his last few classes..
person 2: Football Depression.
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Probably the gayest sport ever. You're gay if you like watching "big, strong mean who probably aren't using steroids just to look cool" tackle each other on the ground while carrying a pig skin ball. Grow a pair and play Rugby you pussys
Sunday night american football! Yes!
No footballs gay. were watching futbal or rugby
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Christine Sinclair, the highest goal scorer of international football. Captain of the Canada national team. Olympic gold medalist.
The Goat of Football Christine Sinclair has 190 international goals. Penaldo has 127, and he needed 4 milion penalties to do it.
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