Jump up my ass

Jump up my Ass
(Southern US slang) A verbal berating, often in public among one's peers. When a person in a superior position belittles and/or humiliates you.

Jeez, did Sergeant Major really need to Jump up my Ass like that? All I did was mix up some ammonia and bleach so I could clean the floor of the barracks!

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Dete dete my ass

When someone or a dieter comes and eats your ass, or does any various unwanted sexual acts.

Omg Sophia, don't dete dete my ass i'll stop talking!

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blowing smoke up my ass

Giving a gratuitous and insincere compliment, possibly to deceive. (Can be my, your, his, or her ass, but probably not plural, as in their asses.)

Yeah, sure. Thanks for the kind words, but I think you're blowing smoke up my ass.

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Have a baby through my ass.

Take a really big dump.

After two helpings of Thanksgiving dinner last night and my morning cup of coffee, I feel like I'm going to have a baby through my ass.

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Pulling shit out of my ass

When someone is making up a bunch of bull shit right on the spot. Usually done when the person has no idea what they are talking about.

"Who stole my ipod???"

"I don't know maybe some leprechaun, came in the middle of the night and then pranced down the street singing I stole your ipod!"

"WTF??"

"Dude i'm just pulling shit out of my ass, if you wait a little bit i'll get you a bigger pile..."

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Shove A Dick Up My Ass

Another phrase for saying FML or damn it.

Ahh shove a dick up my ass, I lost my wallet.

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get off my ass

What you say while being anally r@ped. Typically said when you drop the soap.

Synonyms
get off my ass
stop it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
im not in the washing machine yet

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