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My life sucks, a blonde bitch baked my dog
"Okay calm down bro u are just Jonathan Joestar"
A verbose way of saying Papa John's, an international pizza chain.
Bro I can't believe John Schnatter, the man behind Father Jonathan's, ate 40 pizzas in 30 days. Also he said racial slurs!
Also known as Mr Phillips
Is a hoe with the longest fucking backstory I've ever heard. Will immediately tell you about the German kids he taught. Has the tightest pants I've ever fucking seen, so his dick is always on show. Has a fucked up hairline.
Student 1: Oh no, it's Jonathan Phillips
Student 2: Hide!
Both students hide under a table.
A complete dick head who ditch friends to attempt to be popular while he can't.
He is a huge peace of shit that deserves to get raped and rot in hell.
Fuck you Jonathan.
2👍 7👎
A hamster that belongs to Jonathan.
Hey, is that Jonathan's Hamster?
10👍 1👎
The Best singer in the world and all u fucking bullshit faced
Dumbasses who think he sucks can go suck thier uncle's short and stubby dick
(dumbass) Jonathan davis sucks cock
(me) you suck cock fucking dumbass
183👍 72👎
Sexual Act:
When a woman is asleep and her male counterpart successfully performs intercourse to the point of inter-vaginal ejaculation without waking her up.
If the woman becomes impregnated the child must be named Jonathan, regardless of its gender so that the male's friends can covertly understand exactly how the child was conceived.
The act must be performed without the use of sleep enhancers, e.g. Roofies, or alcohol.
Dude1: "This is my daughter, Jonathan."
Dude2: "You are my hero." (Laughs uncontrollably)
Girl: "What is so funny? Is it because my daughter has a boy's name? Fuck you, Dude 2!"
Dude1 and Dude2 High-Five. "Soft Jonathan" successful.
8👍 1👎