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To Ear Wank (verb) is the act of firmly inserting a finger into one's own ear and then fairly vigorously jerking the hand up and down.
The person who is "ear wanking themselves off" experiences an intense satisfaction; not dissimilar to, yet still distinct from, the same satisfaction experienced when scratching an unpleasant itch.
An Ear Wank (noun) comes from the verb, and describes the act of undergoing an ear wank.
Note that it is possible in theory to ear wank other people off, but due to the risks involved (eg. ear wax) it is rarely practiced and not widely accepted in Western Society.
Alex: "Tom... WHAT are you doing?"
Tom: "I'm ear wanking."
Alex: "Oh. Looks weird."
Tom: "Yeah."
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When you're a sad fuck and horny at the same time
Mike: god i wanna kill mah self
Tyler: why don't you just cry wank
Mike: *proceeds to kill himself*
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An ugly, foul smelling narcissist who prays on good natured individuals. These types are often bi-as-fuck and will fuck and suck anything and anyone to make themselves feel better about their sad existence.
They have no real friends because everything they do or say is usually a lie.
Wank Weasels usually die alone.
Often termed as a Sweaty Nonce by some.
Person 1: Wank Weasel just employed another young girl.
Person 2: Damn! Another one?! He’s just a Wank Weasel.
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wank beam - a beam across a gap of which you aim for when you ejaculate
Hey man check that wank beam over there, i bet i can jizz on that bad boy!
When someone wakes up with a stiffy and decides to make pancakes while at the same time wanking and as a result some of the ejaculation gets into the pancake batter but not enough to stop said person from continuing to make said pancake. The resulting breakfast food is a Wank-ake!
Roommate A:Hey man, I made breakfast you want some?
Roommate B:Sure, what'd you make?
Roommate A:Wank-akes!
Roommate B:Wait, WHAT?!?
Roommate A:I said Pancakes, man seriously, you want some or not?
Masturbating to the lingerie pages of a clothing catalogue, as you did when you were 13 and couldn't get hold of proper filth.
Also handy for when you want a change of pace from mind-blowing internet-based grot.
(The Grattan catalogue was popular in the Uk about 15 years ago, and had a huge ladies underwear section.)
"Dude, I went old school and had a badass Grattan wank last night"
The level of jizz in the male sexual organs, for example if you haven't had a wank for a week you have a healthy wank balance, if you wank 8 times a day then your overdrawn
I need to refuel the tank - my wank balance is running low after this mornings work out