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On this day you get a freebie to go up to your crush and hold their hand
It’s national hold crushes hand day, so can I hold yours?
To jerk off
Wild greg sure loves shaking hands with ole Ben Franklin when he's alone
16👍 1👎
Someone that is such an annoying drunk that you force yourself to leave the room to keep from beating thier face in.
Person One: Hey dude, that guys such a hand slutting fuck slapper.
Person Two: Ya I think we should leave before we get in to trouble.
9👍 31👎
"Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one gets filled first." When a person wants the impossible.
Joe: We need world peace. Can't we just all get along?
Tom: Well Joe, Wish in one hand, shit in the other.
631👍 148👎
When someone takes a paper bag filled with shit and throws it at on-coming traffic
Jimmy and Steve got arrested for throwing some Hand Flinging Flaming Cobra at cars.
1👍 1👎
Taking off your boxers after a journey that involves mild to scorching temperatures that induce the sweat glands around the human asshole to rage uncontrollably..... and then putting them back on.
Awwww man! We shouldn't have played ping pong before going in the pool. Now I have to walk around with Second Hand Swamp Ass.
1👍 1👎
If you say you have (got) to hand it to someone you mean that they have been very successful or skilful.
Wow, it actually worked. I've got to hand it to you, buddy whatever you're putting down, she is picking up.
1👍 1👎