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absolute monkey

A braindead or an absolute illiterate.

This kid is an absolute monkey.

by Tc_goldie December 2, 2020


Absolute Luck

An extreme or large amount of luck.

Daniel: "John, I have absolute luck!"

John: "Really? What do you mean?"

Daniel: "I just landed over twenty bottles flips!"

John: "Dude, bottle flipping died off like years ago..."

by Brainless Maniac October 13, 2024


Absolute Spank

When you want to call someone a douchebag, but it's not harsh enough.

"Man, that guy Brandon is an absolute spank!"

by nonicknam3 November 26, 2017


Absolute Monarchy

An endangered governing system.

All power on the king.

Easy to be abdicated.

The King's term ends when he dies or abdicated.

The King's children are his successors.

Used to dominate most of the world's government.

Saudi Arabia is an example of absolute monarchy.

by Hectare Acres July 15, 2023


absolute dogwater

tell this to some random dude who literally sucks at aiming

you're absolute dogwater bro

by Skoonify October 1, 2023


The Absolute Soup

When you call someone the absolute soup, you are saying that they have soup for brains, and therefore stating that they cannot grasp the power of big moon.

Excuse me Sir, you are the most soupy person I have ever seen, and you may even be the absolute soup.

by ASAPaperlepsepserGUY February 27, 2019


The Relative/absolute fallacy

Similar to Ken Wilber's "Pre/trans fallacy", which is about conflating pre-rational views with trans-rational views, the Relative/absolute fallacy is about conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective. This is the main source of confusion in the forms of spirituality that deal with the implications of non-duality (Oneness).

There are generally two levels to the fallacy:

1. The first level is the conflation that happens when you don't have knowledge about the distinction between the relative and The Absolute (dual/non-dual). This is common in pre-rational religious people (Wilber). The way that traditional religion interprets various holy texts is itself a good example.

2. The second level happens when you do have knowledge about the distinction between relative and absolute (but it's obviously not complete knowledge). This is common in (aspiring) trans-rational people. A common example is to think that because nothing ultimately really matters, morality doesn't matter, and therefore it's fine to for example hurt other people. This is to conflate "the relative" with "The Absolute". From The Absolute perspective, yes, nothing really matters, but morality can only ever be defined "relative" to a certain value system in the first place. By taking the absolute perspective, you're deliberately stepping outside of all value systems, but "it's fine to hurt other people" would be a moral statement, which means you're actually invoking a relative perspective.

You're conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective ("The Relative/Absolute Fallacy").

Albert thinks he is God and nobody else is. Albert has committed the Relative/Absolute Fallacy.

by Carich99 December 24, 2020