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Absolute Spank

When you want to call someone a douchebag, but it's not harsh enough.

"Man, that guy Brandon is an absolute spank!"

by nonicknam3 November 26, 2017


Absolute Monarchy

An endangered governing system.

All power on the king.

Easy to be abdicated.

The King's term ends when he dies or abdicated.

The King's children are his successors.

Used to dominate most of the world's government.

Saudi Arabia is an example of absolute monarchy.

by Hectare Acres July 15, 2023


The Relative/absolute fallacy

Similar to Ken Wilber's "Pre/trans fallacy", which is about conflating pre-rational views with trans-rational views, the Relative/absolute fallacy is about conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective. This is the main source of confusion in the forms of spirituality that deal with the implications of non-duality (Oneness).

There are generally two levels to the fallacy:

1. The first level is the conflation that happens when you don't have knowledge about the distinction between the relative and The Absolute (dual/non-dual). This is common in pre-rational religious people (Wilber). The way that traditional religion interprets various holy texts is itself a good example.

2. The second level happens when you do have knowledge about the distinction between relative and absolute (but it's obviously not complete knowledge). This is common in (aspiring) trans-rational people. A common example is to think that because nothing ultimately really matters, morality doesn't matter, and therefore it's fine to for example hurt other people. This is to conflate "the relative" with "The Absolute". From The Absolute perspective, yes, nothing really matters, but morality can only ever be defined "relative" to a certain value system in the first place. By taking the absolute perspective, you're deliberately stepping outside of all value systems, but "it's fine to hurt other people" would be a moral statement, which means you're actually invoking a relative perspective.

You're conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective ("The Relative/Absolute Fallacy").

Albert thinks he is God and nobody else is. Albert has committed the Relative/Absolute Fallacy.

by Carich99 December 24, 2020


Absolute Capital

Absolute Capital - Slang compound word referring to high amounts of wealth usually owned by a person or a company, that often used to describe the amount of money someone is generating off of an action or product.

Jack's making absolute capital off of making homemade RPGs and selling them to children.

by NiggyNiggyMyNigga April 28, 2020


Absolute Punter

Orlaith is a punter

Orlaith you are an absolute punter

by You are a scrote June 23, 2019


having absolutely no life at all

sitting awake at 3 am looking at goat pics, reporting morgz, and bing in a fucking stupid discord call with someone who have never met, and never will meet, because you have no real friends, no real life, and you are just overall a fucking failure as an individual. Meanwhile someone living about 10 mins away from you texts you that have been drawing dicks for the past hour for absolutely no reason other than that you probably ruined their life in some way, because you are a fucking cancer patient

its pretty damn gay having absolutely no life at all.

by lost_on_reddit July 27, 2019


absolute koon

A crazy black man

Tyrone: YAH BRO, JUST HIT THE JAX OFF A GIRLS THIGH!
Zach: You're an absolute koon!

by zacthemac November 1, 2019