School computer

The shittiest machine ever.
can't do anything on this lousy machine
probably made by goblins in the year 10000000000000000 b.c. and then puked up by a yak and pooped out by a skunk
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GLITCHY ITS PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!

student: I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL COMPUTER!!!
teacher: YOU WERE UNMUTED!
student: DAMN IT!!!!
Nelson Muntz: HAW HAW!

computer sex

when you really wanna bang someone but ur only talking to them on the computer.

also when you wnt to give a guy a boner, all you have to do is have computer sex with him and you will get far...i promise

mary: hey sexy
lyle: omfg if i was there right now i would bang you
mary: lets have computer sex!
lyle: wow...u just gave me a boner
mary: oh yes lyle, oh YES!!!
lyle: HARDER...get it in there!!!

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computer geek

someone who is knowledgeable in things related to computers, internet, softwre, hardware, etc. beyond the average person.

See also Dork.

Tom is so great with photoshop you'd think he's a computer geek or something.

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Personal Computer

A tenacious and vindictive machine, whose primary function in the domestic sphere at the conclusion of the 20th century was electronic solitaire, yet within one year of the 21st century literally held every aspect of human life in its hands.

My personal computer is way too personal.

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computer nigger

A information technology worker (or network administrator) who is not qualified or certified as a IT person but nevertheless performs these functions for an organization that does not have a budget for IT functions and tasks. The worker usually solves computer problems through trial and error and learns as he (or she) proceeds. Most of the problems solved should be figured out without this individual through online help menus.

Hey Bill, when I print this document the margins get cut-off. Why do the margins get cut-off?

Other employees: Bill is the computer nigger here.

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necktop computer

A flash drive worn around the neck on a lanyard. Generally the property of computer geeks or people like me, when the company doesn't supply a laptop but expects us to have numerous files at our fingertops. Also: necktop

I pulled all the files off my necktop computer and left them with the manager.

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Fog Computing

(n) A group of computer setups where a single computer/server acts as the brain for a set of "dumb" computers. (See: Cloud Computing)

The University Library has a server to manage all their terminals. This setup is a Fog Computing network.

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