roast goals

BITCH STFU.You are not at all sexy.In fact,you're a fuckpuppet.
My idea of a perfect Monday afternoon is watching a midget ram your colon.Know why you have polio?Because you're a dickless wookie lover.Heavens to Betsy you loathsome whale fucker,why does your whole house smell like ass?
Go get fucked by a yeti.Gargle a cup of ass juice you cum sponge.
You're cool.And by cool,I mean unsightly.I hope some hobo porks you in the hole until you can't pee standing up,you spelunking anus explorer.Wow you're gorgeous.Just kidding,you're a seal clubber.Why don't you go braid your pubic hair,you dumb cum fountain.My idea of a superb Friday morning is watching a convict rape in your ear.And my two personal favorites;Drink a pint of vaginal discharge,brofessor.Holy flying fuck,you fucking queef.Go get teabagged by a gorilla in a damp alley.

My roast
Roast goals

Goal yehiawy

To score a sweaty goal in a console soccer game as a result of an inability to score properly.

a7a enta msh 3aref tel3ab fa hatgeeb goal yehiawy?

goal angel

Term used to describe soccer goalies who go to exceptional lengths to save the ball.

Teammate: “David was a real goal angel last night. He had 13 saves!”

goal shorts

shorts you buy that are a bit too small and your goal is to lose weight to fit in them.

"oh my god! i finally fit into my size 7 goal shorts!"

Field Goal

At the terminal end of fucking someone in the doggy style position, the partner being fucked is shoved forward, creating a force that swings their arms into the air creating a “Y” or “field goal” shape in American football. The other partner simultaneously pulls out to ejaculate between the partner’s arm. Immediately after, a referee enters the room, places both of his hands in the air and announces “It’s good.”

I got Deb with another field goal last night, now I have 6 points on the board.

The field goal hit my arm so we counted it since technically it’s like hitting the post.

That field goal was no good because I shoved her to far–I need more practice.

Field Goal

When you don’t get to fuck but you get close. Basically you’re not girlfriend boyfriend but your friend girl

Hey bro, did you score a Touchdown with that girl, nah man I only got a field goal

olympic goal

A goal scored directly from a corner kick without any other assistance in football(soccer)

Person: did you see the Olympic goal last night?
Perdón 2: yeah it was awesome!