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A Giger Wanker is someone who straps themselves to a ceiling whilst wearing a gas mask and then proceeds to masturbate to a slide show of H.R. Giger paintings. Traditionally they will mutter, "this is normal, this is normal," to themselves until they cum when they will shout, "take that sexual perversion!"
"Why is every guy I meet gay, married or a Giger Wanker?"
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Soreness in the hand - and in particular, the wrist - brought on by excessive or inhuman levels of masturbation. Known to cause chafing and in some cases, bleeding, to the area in question.
Tom Hanks' character in Saving Private Ryan was a sufferer of Wankers cramp.
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Often jokingly reffered to as a Dubstep-o-sexual. A young sexually frustrated man who is actually aroused by the sound of a Dubstep bass-wobble. They will typically use songs by Skrillex or Borgore as a substitute for porn.
A tell-tale sign of a dubstep wanker is when a song they particularly like comes on the radio and they let out a high-pitched sound of exitement, not unlike a the cliche-fake-female orgasm
Person 1: *hears "Ruffneck" come on the radio* "OH MY GOD... mm I fucking love this track!"
Person 2: *under his breath* "total dubstep wanker..."
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Those dirty posh uni cunts with a penchant for tweed & indie. The Student Wanker is not complete with out one or more piece of Ché Guvara merchandise & in in-depth knowlege of Neighbours. The Greater Spotted Student Wanker will consider themself witty & "out-there" due to their annoying "random" conversations & "wacky" geek chic. General pains in the backside.
See those student wankers in the student bar,
complaining to each other other that their grants don't go far.
With their silly student ties and their silly student scarves,
drinking draught real ale not in pints but halves.
Student Wankers, a fine song by Peter & The Test Tube Babies.
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After wanking and shooting your load into a tissue, you make the fatal mistake of touching the tissue to your still wet and sticky cock. this causes the tissue to absorb some of your cum and, as wet paper does, separate. On removal of the tissue you may find small scraps still clinging to flesh. These scraps must be removed manually whether at the time of the offense or some time later (when they have gone hard!)
It is a tell tale sign you have been wanking.
"Bloody wanker's helmet" he muttered as he picked the wet flecks off his purple bulldog.
After going to the loo back at her place he was horrified to find he had wanker's helmet
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A person who pretends to be browsing 9gag (preferably in public area), but actually he is watching porn, and then when he gets caught he just says "I was on 9gag".
Yo, Vlad, What are you doing, eh?
*switches tab to 9gag*
I am on 9gag!
You are such a 9gag wanker, eh!
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The proper response to being called a wanker
guy 1: "You wanker"
guy 2: "You're the wanker."
guy 1: "(wanking, my secret shame! How did he know?)"
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