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A collection of the various accounts of retards and stupid people from across the history of the universe.
I was looking at History of the Retard yesterday. Some of the things I found intellectually fascinating was one guy named Dan Recinto and, how he would pee on the toilet seat instead of into it.
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An act of taking a champagne bottle full of firecrackers deep into a opening in a willing or unwilling partner. The second phase of the act is taking a copy of "The Beaver" and smacking your partner in the face as you light the firecrackers through a hole drilled in the bottom of the bottle.
PS It is wise to keep the cap on.
I hear Sally had a little rectal burn after her Canada's History last night.
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A depraved sex act involving moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup. Usually the insertion of one or all of these objects, variations including pouring the maple syrup all over both parties involved, or using it (not very successfully) as lubricant.
"Putting everything in there is the hardest part of Canada's History."
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The act of consuming massive amounts of spoiled Canadian bacon in an effort to produce explosive, vile smelling diarrhea. Once a good case of the squirts has developed, the feces is sprayed directly from the anus to the face, neck, and chest of a willing (or unwilling) partner. In this context, the word "Canadian" refers to the bacon being consumed in preparation of the act while "history" refers to the fact that the bacon is rancid and/or past it's expiration date.
You - "Whatcha eatin'?"
Me - "Some rotten Canadian bacon. I'm gonna give the ol' lady a Canadian History later on."
You - "Cool. Can I watch?"
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Canada's History, also Canadian History, is a rare sexual act requiring at least two participating parties, freshly fallen snow, and a public area containing permafrost.
The subordinate, or "bottom", lies naked on his/her back with legs propped up and open to expose the genitalia. At this point, the dominant, or "top", will force as many handfulls of snow into the intended orifice as possible without causing irreparable damage and as fast as possible to allow for the subsequent copulation to numb the "bottom's" orifice.
This allows for a much lauded "orgasm denial" tactic.
"Yo, check it. Me an my bitch went to Aspen last weekend and I schooled her in Canada's History, baby!"
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A sex act in which a woman has sex with an entire hockey team, blows a moose, and washes it down with maple syrup. It was originally coined in the early years of Canadian hockey where it was the prize for the Canadian National hockey championship. Once people began playing for the Stanley Cup they abandoned this to a national past time and gave its current name.
Martha is so sleazy. I hear she gave Canada's History to the entire Oilers.
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This is an horribly grotesque sexual act involving moose antlers, maple syrup and the Stanley Cup. In this act a man first shoves the antlers up his partners anus. Then he pours maple syrup all over his penis and begins to ass fuck his partner. He keeps going until the blood, fecal matter, syrup and seamen leak out the anus into the Stanley Cup. The filled Stanley cup then is poured on to baby seals, in result killing them. the partner then share the dead baby seal covered with gross liquid in a kinky three some to finish to climax.
Wow, i preformed Canada's History on my girlfriend last night. She is dead now!
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