girlfriend tax

Liberally interpreted as the price you have to pay for having a girlfriend: taking her out, buying her things, paying for incidentals. Can also refer to the non-monetary price: time, missed opportunities with other women, real/feigned emotional support.

Guy1: Dude you wanna go out tonight?
Guy2: Can't bro, girlfriend tax has me strapped right now.

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Phantom tax

A phrase popularized by a tiktok soundbite that aims to convince the general audience that gen z lingo is foreign and incomprehensible. The term itself has no other origin or purpose. Similar to other terms such as "skibiddy"

Sticking out your gyat for the rizzler, you're so skibiddy, you're so Phantom tax.

Friend A: bro, gen z has some wild slang I don't understand any of it, wtf is Phantom tax?

Friend B: idk bro probably just some shit they made up to make us feel old.

Friend A: oh that's annoying.

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It pays the taxes

1. Refers to any class of people other than tax-avoiding corporate elites such as GE and Exxon. In contrast to the above definition of the phrase, this definition acknowledges that taxes have not risen for most Americans, and especially not for record-smashing billion-dollar profit companies who shelter their earnings from taxation with off-shore subsidiaries.

It also refers to the hard work done by working class and middle class people that pays social security and income taxes to the federal government. This is the work that keeps our society functioning by paying for schools, roads, hospitals, and other basic life necessities that the free market has failed to provide in an equitable and socially responsible manner.

John: What do you think of the middle class these days?

James: It pays the taxes.

John: What do you think of the wealthiest corporations in the world?

James: Not so much ...

--

Jane: How would you describe the labor of the people?

Jenny: It pays the taxes.

Jane: How would you describe the capital of the elites?

Jenny: Derived from the taxes paid by the people.

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asshole tax

a non-refundable fee assessed on debts owed to fed-up friends

you may owe me $80, but i want $100. why? you're late. that's your asshole tax.

see also _fight club_

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asshole tax

A tax, mostly given to minors, who are having someone of legal age buy them alcohol, or cigarettes. any item they cannot personally purchase themselves

Hey Mike, you charged those kids an asshole tax for that alcohol? good job.

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Arab tax

When someone of Arab origin borrows an item and fails to return it to the owner

Yo that dude just Arab taxed my lighter!

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tax returns

A covert nickname for the porn collection on your computer/laptop.

In honor of Dane Cook who used the example of guys having fake files/folders on their computers/laptops to hide porn. His example was that all guys have a folder named "Tax Returns 2003" filled with porn.

"Dude, my girlfriend caught me on my laptop looking through my 'tax returns!'"

"OMG! She caught you punching the clown!"

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