Rural Dictionary

Moose - Taming

Moose's are the largest members of the deer family, about the size of a horse. They have thick coats of long, dark-brown hair, humped shoulders, and long thin legs.

However, don't be fooled by this creatures peaceful appearance as they can be highly aggressive. A Moose can charge for no reason at all without warning. If this ever occurs to you, remember the three simple steps to stop the moose charging. This is called Taming The Beast.

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How Do You Tame The Beast?

-When the Moose charges at you carry out these three steps.

1) Choose your thigh which you want to attack, preferably one of the back two thighs as this is where most power comes from.

2) Assume the position - Do this by raising your hand just above your head.

3) TAME - Now run towards the beast, swing your arm round to gather momentum and then slap the palm of your hand on the animals thigh whilst shouting TAME THE BEAST.

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This should cause the animal to withdraw from attack. However, if the animal continues to attack continue to tame with increasing power and force. In the area occurrence in which the beast does not withdraw, grab hold of its antlers and go, ‘Yee-Haa’.

WARNING: Only carry out this in times of desperation.

Taming The Beast should ALWAYS be the last resort as it is an extremely dangerous task to carry out.

There are many ways to prevent a Moose from charging:

- Don't shout abuse at these creatures.
- Always give eye-contact.
- Always treat them with respect.
- Never poke them with large sticks.
- Hunting them WILL result in injury from the moose.
- Do not try and dress them.
- Yelling insults will increase the risk of a charge by 570%
- NEVER throw objects at them unless you have a death wish.

by Pop & Fresh January 11, 2005

26👍 11👎

moose toe

male equivalent to camel toe, similar to moose knuckle but much smaller. usually seen on dudes who like to wear tight flaming pants.

PERSON 1 "There's a package if i've ever seen one"
PERSON 2 "No that's mearly a moose toe"

by rascle August 12, 2006

38👍 18👎

Awkward Moose

The act of holding one's hands on their head in the shape of moose antlers. Then proceeding to move them downward to cover the eyes. Commonly used when someone says something awkward or un-called for in a given situation.

Gronz: "Hilary, Allie, Sam, and Shannon think im totally the hottest guy who works here. I also smell the best of all the male specimen who work in this establishment."

All: "AWKWARD MOOSE!"

Hilary: "Awkward Jellyfish!"

Allie: "Awkward Turtle!"

Sam: "Awkward Unicorn!"

by Ihavenofriends November 23, 2006

53👍 27👎

sweet as a moose

Moose - Taming

moose toe

Awkward Moose

moose lick

moose cock

moose fucker