Random
Source Code
Random
1. girlfriend or wife pissed off and wants to end relationship (in case of wife we advise you to find a damn good lawyer)
2. your parents found your stash or are fed up with in there house (normally the second one never happens because they want it to be like you solved it so you cant say they kicked you out)
3.boss thinks your not working enough (because you where not working 24 hoar shifts with no pay) so he is firing you.
4. (rarest of all)girlfriend or wife just want to cuss you out or wants you to tell you to never see your friends again.
1.wife: honey we need to talk.
husband: (thinking) DAMN where is the number for my lawyer.
(mind you this had 2 so i might as well put the 2nd one down)
girlfriend: honey we need to talk
dude: (thinking) shit
2.parents son we need to talk what is this
kid:(thinking) o crap they found my stash better think fast...
(the second one)
parents: son we need to talk we want you out of our house now you have been here for a year now and you said a week and you'd be back on your feet
3. boss: we need to talk, seeing as you hardly work and our sales are down by 10% your fired.
boss: (thinking) he should of worked 24 hoar shifts with no pay... o well more money for me.
4.(wife or girlfriend) : honey we need to talk.
(wife or girlfriend) :(thinking) this will teach you for forgetting our anniversary.
(second)
(wife or girlfriend) : honey we need to talk. your never allowed to see your friends again.
(wife or girlfriend) : (thinking my twisted version mind you) bwahahaha now I will make him hang out with my friends all day long.
sorry for the length of this but a lot of scenarios and just wanted to get them all.
10👍 11👎
Bangin' music! And some cars and canyons and shit, THE VIDEO GAME
Me: godDAMN! The music is amazing
My friend: chill dude, you've been talking about how good the music in Need For Speed carbon is for five hours, sheesh!
Me again: but it is so good man! The fact they made dynamic strings like that in 2006 is fucking amazing!
My friend, tired and wanting to sleep: whatever, just wear headphones or something.
1👍 1👎
internal monologue of exhausted parents
Betty was startled awake by daughter Harriet for the 3rd time that night, and Betty, bleary-eyed, thought to herself "fucking hell Baby needs a Benadryl." But, knowing drugs are not the answer, Betty rocked her to sleep and put her back in bed.
1👍 1👎
Where someone wants to suck the soul out of someone's genital area
I need head for real, can you give me some?
Phrase: euphemism for masturbating while wearing one's FitBit to gain extra steps through cheating
Lee excused himself from the table, saying "I need steps" as he briskly walked to his bedroom.
A very smart and kind person who can be shy at times. But opens up a bit when you have one on one conversations. Trustworthy and supportive no matter what. Always has your back and is not afraid to tell you the truth of what you're really thinking. Loves owls, riding his bike in the rain and being around his friends. Has insecurities but is still only human. He is respectful, kind, and caring. Somewhat sporty with good sportsmanship. Must realize that it is ok to let his guard down and relax a bit. Must learn to take his own advice sometimes too. Has a good sense of humour and never offends anyone intentionally. Good to talk to late at night when you can't sleep. He listens even if it is something small that is bothering you. Can be sensitive but strong too. He is someone you want in your life for a shoulder to cry on to someone who can say something to make your day better.
Someone: Who's Blake?
Me: A friend that everyone needs. A Blake Everyone needs.
When you really need to grab some ass, you want your whole hand on that, your hand needs that ass
The amount of time is refrain myself from saying hand needs butt is crazy