Random
Source Code
Random
Everything is oojah-cum-spiff now that Barack is President.
12👍 5👎
A stupid punchline that requires no set up or. Mainly used for when you can't be funny in the moment a need that one friend to think you are funny.
Human : hey whats this new food that they are selling?
Funny guy : its Piss, shit and/or cum
Human : thats so funny and random!
Funny: bababooey
10👍 3👎
A Vagina
My god u put your German sausage in my hot cum cooker and it made me bleed.
I can bake your cum in my vagina and to a nice 200 degrees.
19👍 8👎
when you are getting a hand job and you have no where to finish except for a zip lock baggy and you fill it up
hey Joe i have two cum bags in my car from last night!
3👍 21👎
when a girl decides that she is not going to swallow when you pull out of her mouth to blow your load you shoot it up in mid air next to her face then while it is still airborne you in one motion slap the cum flying through the air and her face.
"dude... i totally airborne cum slapped your mom cause she wouldnt swallow my load. it was hard to do but i caught all my cum in mid air and slapped that bitch so hard across the face."
"but dude my mom swallows..."
"she didnt for me this time so i gave her an airborne cum slap"
50👍 28👎
This is an extremely rare form of sexual favors. It involves the usage of a small plastic syringe filled with semen. There is about 400 CCs of fluid. A long but semi-rigid tube is then pushed past the rectum and into the small intestine. There the semen is deployed. The man or woman now holding this "package must wait 8 hours to release it. He/she then will hold themselves upside down with legs spread. A recipient stands with open mouth at the anus. The mixture is then deployed with force into the mouth of the recipient. If a woman holds the package, the vagina sometimes will ooze this liquid when performed correctly when done vaginally. The recipient then holds as much of the mixture in his/her mouth and rubs the rest about his/her body. The fluid can then be poured into a woman vagina or another person's mouth. It all is decided upon by the participants!
Holy jesus, that was a good anal cum bomb, I still have the smell all over me!
54👍 31👎
a girl who can suck two cocks at once while smoking a cigarette
after a few drinks she turns into a cum guzzling floosy
21👍 9👎