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Balls farting💯 Often happens when dad is drunk. But honestly can happen whenever you feel like it.
“ ‘there are like 12 people from my highschool….’ ” nah, Balls farting💯
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When you're in a group of people, and accidently fart, but to play it off, you start boom boxing, just in case someone heard it.
John: "oh yea, i saw that show last night,, *fart*... boom boom boomb ba boom boom ba boom bomb, DROP THE BEAT"
Leroy: "dude, did you just fart, then try to act like it was beat boxing?"
John: "Yea, i tried to use the "Beat Box Fart"
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Dry as the desert. Lacking all moisture. Usually used when describing an extremely hot day, or really overcooked food. Gives the same feeling as when particularly dry food gets caught in your throat.
Good Lord! This chicken is as dry as a popcorn fart!
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The point in a relationship where one first farts in front of the other
The honeymoon must be over, Tim felt comfortable enough to break the fart wall in bed, last night. This better not escalate to Dutch ovens any time soon..
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Only 1% of your fart actually smells! Even that little SBD you sneaked out that had everyone in the room wondering if the sewage works had broken down, even that was 99% of that was odourless gases like carbon dioxide, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and methane. The 1% that smells is hydrogen sulphide and when you consider just how bad farts can smell it should come as no surprise that hydrogen sulphide is poisonous. It was even considered as a poison gas during WW1 but was too easily detected (the smell, of course).
“Malcolm’s just caused a major pollution event.”
“Let another one go has he?”
“He must be producing more than 1%, it’s contradicting Fart Fact 2!”
Holding in a fart won’t harm you. You're not going to explode or damage your gut, but sooner or later your body is going to get rid of that gas, so why not consider letting it go when it will have the most effect.
“Mikey got slung out of church!”
“Why?”
“Well, he knew fart fact 13 and was holding one in. The vicar got up to do the sermon and his text was from Proverbs, ‘I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon’ and Mikey let it go!”
“What happened?”
“Half of the people were outraged and half were pissing themselves, and Mikey got slung out.”
Over 99% of the gases in a fart don’t smell! This is because a fart is mostly oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane. Nitrogen is not produced in the gut, but comes from the air we breathe.
“Malcolm’s just let go a right stinker!”
“Yeah, he’s the living antithesis of Fart Fact 1.”