Attacked By Life

You are attacked by life when anything and everything that could go wrong, does go wrong because you're one cursed motherfucker.

Abeey walked down the street and was attacked by a dog, pissed on by a tramp and walked into a lamppost. That bitch is attacked by life

Frank-Attack

If you are attacked by hundreds of people named Frank.

Betty: How did my husband die?
Doctor: He had a Frank-Attack...I'm sorry.

Sock attack

When one falls asleep with socks on, then wakes up in the middle of a deep sleep with the sensation of very hot feet. This is followed by the act of frantically kicking and scrambling to take the socks off and expose the feet from under the covers in an effort to cool the feet as soon as possible.

Jane: "Did you sleep well last night?"

Cathy: "I did sleep pretty well despite the sock attack I had around midnight!"

Shnart Attack

Not to be confused with shark attack

Shnart attack is a complex combination of shit, fart, sneeze, and heart attack. Similarly to a shart they are all combined because they happen simultaneously or because of each other.
One sneezes and the resulting abdominal pressure leads to a powerful fart that quickly is recognised as a shart, the pure terror of which triggers cardiac arrest.

Chill, just because you failed the final is no reason to have a shnart attack.

Didn't you hear? Jerry has been in the hospital for a week after he had a shnart attack.

Like Attacked

When somebody on Facebook likes absolutely everything on your profile and finds it funny.

victim: just been Like Attacked again on this :L
attacker: LMFAO BIG STYLE!!!

splat attack

The aftermath of severe diarrhoea whilst using the lavatory.

Jesus Christ that was a splat attack, you might want to give that a minute

Pap Attack

The female equivalent of a kick in the balls, when a woman is punched, slapped or kicked in the boob. The attacker will cry "Pap attack!" So everyone knows that they have been wounded.

Megan and Iona stood having a fight:
Megan: "You're a bitch."
Iona: "You're a dink."
Megan pulls back and punches Iona in the boob and screams, "Pap attack!"

Iona backs away holding her boob, growling at her attacker. Iona retreats to a safe distance with her arms crossed over her chest as to prevent another attack.