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The business of spreading the Gospel and saving souls (for a profit, of course.) Business practice made popular by such personalities as Jerry Falwell, Jesse Jackson, Oral Roberts and other charismatic con-men with shiny suits and big hair.
Gay scandals and natural disasters are good for jesuness.
8👍 25👎
A mythical person just as real as the lockness monster, the boogie man, Pamela Anderson's boobs and the possibility of you having a 13inch penis
Jesus is my home boy.
Jesus is my penis.
Dave: I saw Jesus
Sam: nope, you were just high
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some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
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Some guy who everyone thinks was cool who was apparently the messiah and could do voodoo. We all know Ras' Tafari is the messiah! jesus christ you idiots!!!
hey lets go pray to JESUS and then make fun of minorities!!!
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1.me; your heavenly savior.
2.pronounced HAY-SOOS in the sanish language
3.jewish people do not believe i am their savior. however i was jewish
i am your savior; the lord-JESUS CHRIST!
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Jesus,is a total fake.He'd be cool if he was real,but his dad can go suck a cock for all I fucking care.
Jesus was a pretty badass dude,don't care much for his father tho...
Jesus. --
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A man that lived 2000 years ago who was either one of three things
1) The messiah, Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God who made the earth and performs miracles.
2) A crazy guy that claimed he was the messiah.
3) A man who pulled off the biggest hoax in worlds history, for he has influenced so many people of the world to believe in him and to live a good life.
Dude: "Dude Jesus is a beast at being God".
Other Dude: Na i think he was actually just a crazy raging alcholic.
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