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Random
A handjob given by someone with extremely firm grip
Damn I’m sore he/she gave me that harambe handjob last night, thought they were going to rip my dick off.
The process of filling a white glove with warm meat, cheese and noodles then proceeding to insert your hand to then give someone a handjob.
Person 1: I heard Bonnie gave Kevin a Hamburger Helper Handjob last Monday.
Person 2: That shit is wild, they couldn't even wait till a Tuesday!
Person 3: I'm so horny, I think I'm gonna give myself a Hamburger Helper Handjob tonight.
Person 4: That's disgusting bro why the fuck would you say that to me.
The act of masturbating to comical movies
Last night I caught my roommate pulling a Jimmy Handjob to Animal House.
It’s where you beat your meat and then all of a sudden, your girlfriend or boyfriend (if you swing that way) comes from out of nowhere and starts to jerk your meat and two seconds later, you bust a nut.
Greg: Yo what happened last night?
Chad: I don’t know, but last thing I remember is that Lucy did a Kamikaze Handjob on me.
Greg: Niiiice
A geographical phenomenon upon which your flaccid cock spontaneously oozes cum at the elation of abetting traffic that had neither source nor cause.
I'm on 84 West towards Danbury and I swear I just got the best Connecticut Handjob of my life - I need a new pair of underwear.
Violent masturbation. Usually to the point of bloodshed. Done unto oneself. (Get it? The bloodiest battle is the Civil War. Civil War is when a nation fights itself. lolz)
He was icing his junk this morning. Must have given himself a Gettysburg handjob last night.
When a normal handjob aint good enough so she spits in her hand and uses the saliva to lubricate the penis
“Tell em you can say spitty handjob with a straight face.”
“Nah its a hybrid handjob.”