Does a bear shit in the woods?

Phrase employed to sarcastically imply that the answer to the question being posed is indubitably 'yes'.

See Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

Q: "Joan, does my crossdressing mean that our marriage is over?"
A: "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

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Does the carpet match the drapes?

A question used to indicate the belief that a woman's hair is dyed. "Carpet" being the pubic hair and "drapes" being the hair on her head.

"Check out that hot blonde over there. Do you think the carpet matches the drapes?"

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Does Obama smoke Newports?

A rhetorical question posed as a retort to an obvious question.

Is Angelina Joile good looking? 'Does Obama smoke Newports?'

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does a chicken have lips?

an off-hand method of answering in the affirmative, although most consider it to be confusing and idiotic because a chicken does not, in fact, have lips, and therefore its usage should be avoided.

ryan: hey bruh, you wanna get pizza?
emma: does a chicken have lips?
ryan: no, message received.

emma: no, idiot, it means yes.

ryan: that’s confusing.

emma: i know.

Does the carpet match the drapes

One's pubic hair matching the hair on their head.

Often used to find out natural hair color.

In a sentence: "Does the carpet match the drapes?"

Me: Girl you know what I found out the other day?!

Friend: What?

Me: Britney Spears IS a natural blonde!

Friend: Does the carpet match the drapes?

Me: YEEEHH

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Does This Smell Like Chloroform

The method of getting laid with the highest success rate.

Jack: "Hey Dorothy, does this smell like chloroform to you?"
Dorothy: "Hmm let's see..." *smells, faints*
Jack: "Great Success!" *unzips pants*

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Captain Picard does a jig

Popular drinking game which originated in upstate New York. It was named after the Star Trek Captain, Jean-Luc Picard. Players start with a full beverage (ie. beer) and proceed to 'chug' or drink the beer as fast as they can. The first one done becomes Captain Picard, he/she then gets to choose someone else to do a 'jig' with them. The two players must now compete to be the first one done with their beer, while dancing an irish-like riverdance jig. The winner becomes the new Captain Picard and the game continues.

Frank: "Dude, what do you guys want to do
tonight? ...we have a lot of beer
and nowhere to go."
Mable: "How about we play
Captain Picard does a jig?"
Lester: "Yeah, that sounds pretty good!
We'll get drunk fast and it'll
be hilarious trying to
riverdance while drinking!"

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