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karma payment plan

A system by which seemingly magical improvements in one's life are given by mysterious forces in exchange for a sense of unease not unlike that given from selling one's soul, often actually (but not always) resulting in misfortune.

Taken from the Modest Mouse song "Karma's Payment" and the unfailingly portentious cynicism of Isaac Brock.

"Remember that huge freaking electrical storm we had a couple weeks back? I stood out in the middle of it on the roof of like this chicken coop and held a metal guitar above my head. I didn't get struck by lightning, but I suppose that's just because God has something special, something much, much worse that he's saving for me."

My car broke down out in the street
The radiator sprung a leak
I met this guy, he said he could help me
(I'm on the karma payment plan)
We went to his house and did some speed
He said karma would pay for this deed
He got it fixed and he
Started to scare me...
I ditched him eventually
And came back for the van
The next morning
(I'm on the karma payment plan)
I went to LA the next day I got
Jacked in a really bad way
I can't tell you...
It's a long story.

by Homunculus March 31, 2005

47πŸ‘ 23πŸ‘Ž


charlie brown karma

having sustained bad luck throughout your lifetime.

Poor Don Andersen has had so many shitty things happen to him, he's got Charlie Brown Karma written all over him.

by BCH January 8, 2008

5πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


pre meditated] karma

Thought out or planned before hand due to being done wrong by resulting in causing or conflicting ones karma

One to cause pre meditated karma would generally be due to being done wrong by ETC. Fucking one over in anyway where they don’t take it lightly therefore retaliate

by Steph anie ;; July 17, 2021

5πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Karma-Con

A Psychic Fair, usually held in shopping malls and featuring a variety of Paranormal services.

We're gonna hit the Karma-Con at the mall later and get our palms read.

by Time Foolery July 21, 2017

1πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


Golden Karma Rule

Do unto others as they have done unto you.

Alice: Patti, is that your boyfriend Bob with another girl over there?

Patti: WTF? You're right. Asshole! I guess he doesn't know about the Golden Karma Rule.

Patti (texting on phone): Hey Fred, what are you doing tomorrow night?

by Ur Daddie January 15, 2021


Karma Dick Slapped

Karma dick slapped is when you fuck with everyone so much, that the Karma God's gets tired of it and pulls out a big ole black cock and slaps you like a pimp slapping a hoe.

Johnny:
"Boy that ass hole Brian of a nark backstabbing homo got what he deserves !"

Jenny:
" Yes he did, and boy he got karma dick slapped!!"

by DeezzzzzzNuts January 8, 2015

4πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Sexual Karma Fairy

The Sexual Karma Fairy is a bit like Cupid. But she decides who you end up with in life. She creates happy marriages to beautiful people for people have been good, and punishes those who have been assholes with strings of unhappy marriages to munters who don't give oral sex. The Sexual Karma Fairy tests you with situations you don't want to be in, and scores you on the way you handle them.

I've just let down an ugly girl gently. The sexual karma fairy owes me big!

by Sarkie August 12, 2006

37πŸ‘ 32πŸ‘Ž