Cartoon logic

Logic based on fallacies that cannot be backed up by actual evidence. Like building a fire underwater, their logic is flawed and childish

“Hey did you know that I’ve gotten straight A’s throughout high school, so know I’m definitely going to get a scholarship”

Shut up you weirdo book worm. You have cartoon logic. No college wants a nerd who plays no sports.

ezme logic

The ideas in which things only make sense to that ones person because they r absolute bullshit

Ezme: I can run through the current of a waterfall
:everyone else: ezme logic.

Cat logic

A phenemenon where cats do something that seems weird to us but somehow makes sense to them

John: Why is your cat sitting on my pizza??
Jack: I don't know man, its a cat logic thing.

Customer Logic

Throwing all reasoning out the window and being the stupidest fucking moron you can humanly be.

It operates under three basic principles:

1. Complete lack of accountability (even actively refusing to take any)
2. Complete lack of empathy (i.e. sociopathic behavior)
3. Unwarranted self importance (i.e. severe narcissism)

Formal logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: if you park on No Parkin areas, you get a parking ticket.

Customer logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: OMG IT WAS JUST A FUCKING MINUTE I WILL GO TO THE NEAREST STARBUCKS TO DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THEIR MANAGER AND ASK FOR FREE LATTES FOR LIFE BECAUSE THEY SHOULD'VE TOTALLY WARNED ME ABOUT IT AND WILL SUE EVERYONE BECAUSE MY PARKING TICKET IS EVERYBODY ELSE'S FAULT.

Zoe Logic

When something makes absolutely 0 sense. And there’s no telling them otherwise. And when you actually think about what was said. It makes even less sense.

*goes on vacation
“You don’t love me”
“Wow. Zoe logic.”

logic butter

The sophisticated notion of smooth programming linguistics between IT professionals with a side of l33t speak.

Hey, how is that install process going, Kurt? Kurt- I can't figure out a few things with the Manager's Work Station. Have you tried applying logic butter?

logic grenade

A statement of fact, usually in the form of an e-mail, that renders all hostile (emailers) silent

Employee #1: I had been getting calls and e-mails all morning about the Widget Project. Managers want status, test group wants results.
Employee #2: What changed? Why did they stop?
Employee #1: I silenced them all when I explained to them the Widget Project was, in fact, not my project (according to my manager) and they need to direct their efforts towards <Employee X>
Employee #2: Sounds like you lobbed them a logic grenade