nano-speak

Idle chit-chat, small talk, or casual conversation for the digital age. Short conversation meant to encapsulate an informal thought or idea. Also useful for people with short attention spans in the "Twitter" era.

Dude: Bro, I saw Gary the other day down at the bodega.

Dude #2: Oh yeah, you ask him about his divorce?

Dude: Nah, just some nano-speak about the weather and TV. I didn't want to get into a long conversation about his pain.

Dude #2: His wife was hot.

5👍 10👎

e-speak

The language of online hobos and foreigners who don't really speak English at all, but are under the false impression that they speak perfectly, just because they stalk and harass a whole lot of innocent teenage girls over the internet in their spare time.

To form words, you merely omit MOST vowels, but leave just enough that the annoyed person on the receiving end of your message can barely make out what you mean. (see examples)

It is infuriating to decipher when you have somewhere to be and a whole page of offline messages in e-speak pops up on Yahoo Messenger from your foreign friend, who happens to be an ugly old fart from a country whose name you can't pronounce.

Tk cr n hv a lvly nit

e-speak for: Take care and have a lovely night

u knw wat swthrt, u hv drivn me crzy

e-speak for: You know what sweetheart, you have driven me crazy

7👍 17👎

Speaking German

Since and uncircumcised penis looks like a German Helmet. Speaking German, giving German Lessons or going to Germany is having sex or engaging in sexual behavior.

That guy was so hot. He took me home and gave me German Lessons. Let's just say, he was Speaking German so well I am now fluent.

4👍 10👎

leet speak

Using a symbol/letter/number to replace some letters in a sentence so that instead of:

"Everyone eats rice"

it becomes:

"3\/3ry0|\|3 347s r1c3"

Almost unreadable.

14👍 43👎

SITC Speak

A strongly homosexual erotic way of talking between a group of German idiots, visiting the SITC portal.

OMG The way everyone talks on SITC is so gay.

2👍 3👎

baby-speak

the act of post-pubescent individuals speaking like a toddler.

Oh, I just melt when you use baby-speak on me. Especially when you sound like the kid in the Oscar Mayer commercials!

2👍 3👎

speaking Portuguese

Going down on a woman with a Brazilian.

I'm so tired - I was up late last night speaking Portuguese with my girlfriend...

2👍 3👎