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Made painstakingly by Samuel L Jackson.
It will get you drunk.
You'll be fscking fat girls in no time.
You might even fight a nigga or two.
MMMMM MMMM BITCH!
Waiter: What'll it be guys?
dude 1: I'll have a scotch on the rocks.
dude 2: I'll have a sam adams.
Wiseman: I'll have a Samuel Jackson.
dude 1: You know somethin, I'll have a Samuel Jackson too :).
dude 2: ME THREE!!
<all 4 laugh>
waiter: three Samuel Jacksons, comin right up...
Dave Chapelleaka Samuel Jackson:
Good motherfuckin good, motherfucka!
Samuel Jackson! Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L Jackson! It'll getcha drunk! You'll be fuckin fat girls in no time!! You might even fight a nigga or two!! MMMM MMMM BITCH!!!
How's it taste motherfucka?!?!?
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Gives THE BEST criticism, no doubt about that
*cough* ¬_¬ (Sarcasm, LOL)
How he was made a judge of American Idol (or how Ryan Seacrest is still hosting the show) I will never know. I mean it's a crappy show but hey, it has its rep you know?
*Singer sings lyrics to "Lonely Girl", messing up every high note*
Randy Jackson: Yo Dawg, that was tight. Perfect dawg, I mean dawg, that's the best singing I've ever heard, good job dawg.
*Crowd cheers*
Simon Cowell: Do you ever say anything constructive Randy?
*Randy starts to say something*
Simon: OK, well moving on. Look I feel your performance tonight was very... pathetic.
*Crowd starts booing*
Simon: If that is what people consider singing, I will gladly drop off the face of the Earth and start a modeling career.
Randy Jackson: Yo dawg, don't listen to him dawg. That was great singing dawg.
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(verb) To cut a mans testicles or "nuts" off.
The next time your boyfriend hits you, Jesse Jackson his punk ass!!!
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Similar to Murphy's Law, Jackson's Law states that the likelihood of any action being awesome is inversely proportional to the number of people observing.
By this law, any cool or hard to repeat action will be seen by few to no observers, while the most embarrassing will be seen by a crowd.
Andrew: Today I hit a pothole on my bike.
Will: Are you okay?
Andrew: Yeah - I flew off my bike, did a perfect combat roll, and came up running - not a scratch. But nobody saw it!
Will: Ouch. Jackson's Law is a bitch, man.
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Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009), known as the "King of Pop", was an American musician and one of the most commercially successful and influential entertainers of all time. His unique contributions to music and dance, along with a highly publicized personal life, made him a prominent figure in popular culture for four decades.
Alongside his brothers, he made his debut in 1964 as lead singer and youngest member of The Jackson 5, and began a successful solo career in 1971. His 1982 album Thriller remains the best-selling album of all time, with Off the Wall (1979), Bad (1987), Dangerous (1991), and HIStory (1995) among the best selling. He is widely credited with having transformed the music video from a promotional tool into an art form, with videos for his songs "Billie Jean", "Beat It" and "Thriller" making him the first African American artist to amass a strong crossover following on MTV.
While preparing for the This Is It concert tour in 2009, Jackson died at the age of 50 after suffering from cardiac arrest. He reportedly had been administered drugs such as propofol and lorazepam, and his death was ruled a homicide by the Los Angeles County coroner. His death triggered an outpouring of grief from around the world with his globally live broadcast memorial service attracting an audience of up to one billion people.
Michael Jackson was a very successful artist.
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Something that costs fifty cents.
Dude #1: "Yo homie, how much is that candy bar?"
Dude #2: "A Curtis Jackson."
Dude #1: "Aight. Can u spot me on that."
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The NEW Chuck Norris,
The L. Stands for MUTHA FUCKIN!!
Samuel Jackson AKA SAMUEL MUTHA FUCKIN JACKSON Starred in Mutha Fuckin Snakes On A mutha FUCKIN PLANE!!!!!!
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