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1970s/80s: You are about to lie or make an excuse.
mid90s onwards: You are in bit of a soup and you have a semi-valid excuse. So you just say "funny story" and its understood that you are not going to hold your end of the bargain.
Friend1: Did I see you driving my car yesterday ?
Friend2: Funny story... I was looking for _my_ car keys and ...
Manager: How are we placed on the back order from Big Company ?
You: Funny Story.
21👍 11👎
(hopefully this is long enough to jerk off to)
I was in my room when i looked out the window and seen a girl in a thin swimsuit and no bra, she had black duck tape x's on her nipples and i instantly got a boner, with my buldge in my pants, i ran outside and brought her to my house, she sat down and i handed her some clothes. i think she noticed my rock because she denied the clothes and strted playing with it through my pants, i reached for the tape on her huge titties, she said "not yet" I stood there confused. Despite this i pulled down my pants and i got a nice handjob, she took out a pocket pussy, handed it to me and said, "be right back". she came back with some tissue and lotion, "we wont be needing those" i said. "but why? its not like-" i stuck my rock in her mouth and gave it about 5 seconds, i came and she swallowed, i didnt care how sensitive my penis was, i put it in her pussy and caarried her all the way upstairs, we pulled a allnighter and we never took the tappe off.
sex story e
17👍 10👎
A story of sex to make you horny so you can make your own
Jeanne was the best looking girl on campus. Every guy wanted her. I was lucky enough to get that wish. She was my roommate but she was WAY out of my league...or so i thought. After i got back from classes i took a shower. I heard the door open and close and heard Jeanne say You in there matt? I yelled back yea. she said in a slighty sexy voice ok be out of there in 3 minutes. I just thought i had imagined the voice but when i got out and got into my clothes and opened the door she was on the bed naked except for a br and panties. She said Matt help me get this bra of please. Hey if the near nakedness wasnt enough you could not mistake the sexy tone. Okay i said acting cool but you could see my hard dick a mile away. I undid the strap while taking of my shirt. She turned round and said oh you can play with them to. He then started undoing my pants and ripped them off boxers and all. She started giving me a blow job. I just couldnt wait and pulled of the panties. She said hey get the condoms first. I reached in the bed side table with one hand and played with her boobs with the other. I rolled it on. I then shoved my dick
into her pussy as fast as i could. She screamed with ecstacy as i hit her g spot. She orgasmed three times then told me to pull out. We went into the 69 position. My whole senior year we did this then we got married. We still have great sex today. This is my sex story
8739👍 7658👎
a sex story is awesome and it makes you horny :)
Clarissa was the hottest security guard there was at the airport security station. As she watched bags full of clothes and underwear pass through her security camera, she felt her pussy get wet when she saw in a suitcase a box of condoms. Eying the cock on the man, she determined it should be pretty big. Stepping off of her chair, she asked pulled him aside and brought him into the bathroom. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Oh, nothing much," she nonchalantly asked, pulling a condom out of her pocket.
"Um..." he replied. Slowly, a bulge appeared in his pants.
Stripping off his pants in one fell swoop, she handed him the condom and took off her shirt and slacks. Underneath was a small black triangle representing her thong and two ginormous breasts.
She nodded.
He took off his shirt and put on the condom. He humped her until she groaned with delight and he cummed many times inside her. Using all of his might he grabbed her nipples and stroked them while he thrusted his penis inside her small vagina.
That is a sex story.
7830👍 6876👎
A real story about a single girl that meets a scam artist online. He tries hard to impress her, makes her believe he is single and just wants a chance. He posts attractive pictures of 'himself' and tells interesting stories (that are NOT TRUE). The stories and the pictures came from someone (a stolen identity) on Facebook.
The red flags: He acted emotional when she was not around; made her feel bad for not giving him a chance; said sweet things to her so she would come back online; when she came back, he pushed her away with verbal abuse or pictures of himself with (an automatic) girlfriend; hides behind seduction games; the cycle repeats over and over.
AND YOU WILL START TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IMAGINING ALL OF IT AND LOSING YOUR MIND....
All the while, his online buddies start to feel the same thing you're feeling...
Why doesn't he just meet IRL and get it over with?
BECAUSE HE CAN'T! HE IS NOT REAL! HE CAN NEVER and WILL NEVER MAKE IT REAL.
THE VICTIM OF THIS STORY LATER LEARNED THAT HER ONLINE LOVE INTEREST WAS REALLY A Lesbian pretending to be a man.
People, don't be another Catfish Story. Talk on the phone asap and meet IRL like normal singles do. A background check wouldn't hurt. Remember, catfishers CAN'T meet you because they are NOT who they say they are and their goal is to keep the online fantasy going for as long as their victims will allow.
25👍 14👎
A band the preforms good emo songs and aren't one of those pop-punk sellouts. All in all, this is one heck of a good band that is a rare breed. Their music is 100% original and 100% Meaningful.
108👍 78👎
Way for self gratification and buttering up your own half baked personality.
Society progressed and stopped believing in sunshines but according to Instagram stories, urban dictionary "definitions" matter
10👍 4👎