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Noun. An Alfred is a hipster of the worst, most extreme variety; most frequently found in San Francisco, Brooklyn, and Silverlake. Wearing American Apparel and going gluten-free doesn't make you an Alfred. Greasing your mustache and sporting a monocle makes you an Alfred.
"Did you see the pants on that Alfred? I get that rolling your jeans is trendy, but that guy looked like he was wearing capris. Your socks aren't that cool, buddy."
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A fat Asian who smells like squashed bananas. He is person who mainly eats fattening foods. He's the kind of person who would eat a salad and a double chocolate ice cream from DQ on the side
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That quiet kid who sits at the back of the room only talking to the black history fanatic! HE has these big DIRTY lips and only eats raw fish. If you see Alfred, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! He will punch and kick and WHO KNOWS WHAT?!?! He is quiet because he is plotting his plans. Run.
Alfred
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The side-kick of the secret Batman in your group.
Hey, John! Aren't you Dean's Alfred?
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The sexiest creature to ever grace the cosmos, very slightly edging out Willem Dafoe.
Bruh, I accidentally jizzed when I saw a picture of Alfred Molina, the other day. I just can't help it.