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An elf who used to work for Santa but then ran his own bank robberies making him rich and giving away cash to the naughty people that were crossed off on Santa's list.
"Everybody gettin' Sump'n! Sum'p Claus!"
"Here comes Sump'n Claus!!!!"
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These are the last words you will whisper to your dickhead party host. By uttering "Shanty Claus", you have just declared that you have hidden a small wrapped up nugget of a turd somewhere is his or her house.
Great party...oh...and by the way...Shanty Claus was here.
A drunk fat guy in a red suit who broke my heart at a mall when I was little.
Santa Claus: Tony, have you been nice this year?
Me: Yea, Santa!
Santa Claus: NO YOU HAVEN'T YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH, I SAW YOU TAKE A CRAP IN THAT LADY'S PURSE!
Me: :(...
470👍 177👎
He is the Jewish Santa guy that eats too much Hallah bread, drank schnapps with the three wise men, gave a dreidle to baby Jesus, put up a xmas tree in the Holy Land, put a with a Star of David on top of the tree, and sings "Ho Ho Hora, Ho Ho Hora." So, he said it was OK to enjoy getting presents and that us kids shouldn't feel guilty enjoying all the fun.
"Yes Virginia, there really is a Schmanta Claus."
30👍 8👎
In the true spirit of the A, Atlanta Claus steals presents rather than giving them. Atlanta Claus outfits himself in an oversized Michael Vick jersey and the traditional Santa hat. His beard is more likely to be scraggly than full and white. Atlanta Claus drinks heavily and smokes Black and Milds.
1. "God damn it, Atlanta Claus broke my back window and jacked my CD player."
2. Atlanta Claus: "Ay cuz, you needa hand ova dem presents, fa real boi!!"
30👍 9👎
The GREATEST ninja of all time!!!
1. He can't be seen
2. Only a true ninja can break into that many houses, undetected, in one night
3. He taught reindeer to hover and fly, and we all know that, while only superheros and ninja can fly, only a ninja can teach other lifeforms to do it too... that's right, the reindeer had to become ninjas too.
Kid: I'm gonna stay up and try to see Santa Claus :D
Brother: No!!! don't do that!!! I heard, that the reason his suit is red is from the blood of children trying to sneak a peek at him...
Kid: Huh? Santa kills you if you see him?
Brother: He HAS to! It's the code of the ninja! They're not supposed to be seen. You see them; they kill you!
Kid: (Cries)
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anyone extremely pissed off at christmas time
quit throwing the christmas tree out the front door, dad! who do you think you are, anger claus?