duct tape

(n.) The end-all solution to all your problems.

(v.) To solve a problem, to patch up.

Got an asshole who won't shut his mouth? Tape his mouth shut with some duct tape!
Got embarassing back hair? Use the adhesive power of duct tape to rip out the unsightly growths and hair follicles!
Got an annoying roommate who sexiles you? Tie his arms and legs up with duct tape then duct tape his dick to the wall for everyone to see!
Wanna sit on a sofa on top of your car and steer using a broom through the moonroof? Duct tape it to the car!
Got mold on your cheese? Use duct tape to remove it!
Sofa got torn up? Use duct tape to mend it!

I duct taped my life. Everything is all better now. I've mended my ways!

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duct seal

The gayest task you will ever encounter. Generally a punishment assigned by state departments of transportation. i.e. GDOT.

Today you need to put Bell ends and Duct seal on these pipes that already have wire pushed through them. OHHH NOOOOO!!!! RUNNN!!!

Duct Tape

It'll save your sorry ass during the zombie apocalypse.

Person 1:In the game Dead Rising 2, the protagonist, Chuck Greene uses Duct Tape to combine two chainsaws and a paddle together.

Person 2: Dude! he must kick zombie ass!

Duct tape

possibly the most useful item you could have around your house

That duct tape fixed so many things around my house!

Duct Tape

A gift from God.
The biggest miracle known to mankind.
Can fix anything including broken hearts, ripped clothes, and spilled juice.

Can also be used to wax your legs (warning: incredibly painful)
A very versatile product: need to wrap up somebody's dead body- duct tape, spilled water and need to put it back together- duct tape, broke your leg but too broke to go to a doctor- duct tape;
No matter the situation duct tape is always the solution.

Homeboy: Oh crap, I ripped my shirt!
You: Have you tried Duct Tape EXD 6000? I used it to heal the cut on my shoulder the other day, it worked wonders.

Duct taping

The act of wrapping duct tape around an erect penis and then jerking off. Before finishing slowly peel it off to achieve an orgasm.

Tom: you ever try duct taping
Mike: no, wtf is that
Tom: it's amazing

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Duct Tape

One of the most versatile substances every created, can be used to fix just about anything and be used to make just as much. also very useful as a chick magnet when worn on your wrist.

Girl: why are you wearing duct tape on your wrist?

Boy: it's a great way to met women.

Girl: why do you say that?

Boy: cause you had to ask.

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