Employee Discount

1. (noun) A discount on a purchase given typically to a very attractive person even when they don't work there.

2. (noun) A discount given to employees just to keep the money there and not have it go to competitors.

1. Cashier: "What do you think? 15% or 20%?"
Friend: "I'd say 20%."

2. Cashier: "You work over there and you're not using your employee discount from them?"
-Competition worker: "No, even with the discount it's still cheaper here."

10👍 4👎

PopCopy Employee

Someone who is a complete asshole. A person who never does what they're told, and is always very rude in public. Inspired by a comedy bit from the Chappelle Show

While teaching a classroom of toddlers, Jeff also spent an hour on the phone with his gf telling her how he would bang her tonight. He us a total "PopCopy Employee"

10👍 4👎

Employee Entrance

The backdoor. The anus.

She was such a tightwad that I never figured she'd use the Employee Entrance.

6👍 2👎

hollister employee

If you have a nice chin and a flat belly you're hired

"Hollister employees never help with anything but they always look so perfect so it doesn't matter"

6👍 2👎

Google Employee

The Google Employee....
Similar to Facebook employees but more tech savvy. They tend to wear low-key brands , such as GAP, Old Navy, Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, and Polo Ralph Lauren. Casual dress code includes jeans, Converse or Vans, a t-shirt and sweater. Typically rides scooters or bikes to work (with helmet), take the train/shuttle, or drive Renault Twizy's and Toyota Priuses. They'll flex their AirPods Pro and iPhone 11s and/or Google Pixels around the office. The Google Employee typically work in funky wooden cubicles and play Pack Man or Foosball in their free time. Perks include going to the office gym, highly trained massage therapists, free meals and health insurance. Will usually be a graduate of a prestigious university such as MIT, Stanford, UCLA, NYU, Carnegie Mellon, etc. Usually wears glasses with lenses and is low-key hipster. Most will pogo stick in their free time or go see a movie on a Friday night. Overall, the Google Employee is cool, smart, techie, and friendly.

Andy: Oh my gosh, does Brian work for Facebook? He is so cool!
Sarah: Oh no, Brian is a Google Employee!

state employee

An individual who is a direct or contractor engaged in employment with any one or several state government offices. Generally, this type of employment is not as challenging as private industry as these employees sit around all day and do very little unless the activity has a direct impact on their pay grade, union membership, or retirement benefits.

A state employee sitting at a desk, collecting a paycheck and watching the clock, reading a newspaper, or online surfing the web while plugged into their IPod.

15👍 9👎

Employee of the Month

The most belittling thing in the universe that an organization can do to a worker.

Employee of the Month? Are you fucking kidding me right now? There is no bigger insult to a working person than "Employee of the Month"!

4👍 1👎