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A guy who provides exceptional dick from his futon but doesn't have his shit together has futon dick.
fu-ton. v. to take an attractive member of the opposite sex to one's futon for sexual purposes.
I think I'm finally going to futon this guy I've been seeing, tonight!
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Cutest phrase said by Armin Arlert in Attack on Titan: Junior High when his futon was stolen by Levi
Levi: *appears out of nowhere in Armin's room window*
Armin: Wh-wh-wh-what on earth is going on?! (With cute baby voice)
Levi: Tsk. Give me that!
Armin: BOKU NO FUTON! 😭 (in tiny)
A video game player who deliberately breaks a futon alliance. He or she typically acts only in his or her best interest while playing the game. This includes destroying other player’s characters, stealing their Mario Party stars or other snarky behavior.
Lauren, you just stole my last star! You are a futon asshole!
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A close association of video game players, assembled on a futon (or other seating device), formed to advance common interests by playing as team. Members of a futon alliance are loyal and trusting of each other; they will not act against other members of the alliance. Failure to act in accordance with terms of the futon alliance will result in a player being rejected from the coalition and henceforth being known as a futon asshole.
Rebecca, you better find Molly and destroy her player or else we will lose and you will no longer be a part of this futon alliance!
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A Futon attempts to be both bed and couch, but makes a terrible bed and a terrible couch. The Futon Effect is a force which dooms many similar attempts to a similar fate.
Spork. A spork is that funny eating thing that is half-spoon and half-fork. Intended for camping, this unnecessary invention makes very bothersome the eating of either liquid or solid food, and thus can be said to suffer from The Futon Effect.
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To have sexual intercourse on a futon.
Guy 1: Hey what happened to Timmy last night?
Guy 2: Timmy had 25 shots of vodka and ended up having futon fun with Torrie.
Guy 1: No Way! Way to go Timmy Tivo!
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