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A midwestern goodbye is like purgatory. There is no escape.
When you're little it happens like this:
You: MAMA WHEN ARE WE GOING HOME *CRIES* I'M TIRED
Your Mama: Just a couple more minutes, I have to say bye and find your daddy
You: Okay :)
*7 hours later*
Your daddy: *slaps knee and sighs* Welp, I spose. We gots to get home, little Timmy is tired
Your uncle: You haven't even finished your beer
Your daddy: I'm driving pal
Your uncle: Lemme walk you to your car then
Your daddy: *rolls down the window to talk to your uncle*
*3 hours later*
Your daddy: oh gosh look at the time, we gots to get goin.
Your uncle: Your tire is looking a lit flat there bud. roll er into the garage and I'll top er off for ya
Your uncle: boy it sure is chilly and I's can see your hot n cold ain't working too good, why don't yous come inside and I'll grab your leftovers too.
*the cycle of the midwestern goodbye will continue on until one of you dies*
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Typically used to describe the last encounter between two friends, lovers, or family members before a long leave of absence (or in most cases, permanent).
Note: The literal saying of goodbyes doesn't necessarily have to be drawn out. "Long" only clarifies the fact that the people involved won't see each other again for a long time (if ever).
They said their long goodbyes before Tommy headed out west.
I hate the long goodbye.
I wish I had known that was the long goodbye. There's so much more I would have liked to say.
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The Minnesota goodbye is the process Minnesotans go through when saying goodbye at a get together or party. The process is rarely short – normally it lasts between 10 and 30 minutes and involves commonplace conversations, often an extension of what folks were talking about earlier at the get-together.
The Minnesota goodbye kept them out standing in the cold until they had minor frostbite.
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When two heterosexual friends of the same gender have a sleep over and one leaves in the morning with out saying goodbye.
Chris awoke to the rising sun. He looked over at Nathaniel sleeping peacefully. With out waking up Nathaniel Chris gathered his things and exited the room. As he was leaving the strange house Chris had this uncomfortable feeling as if he had done something, dirty.
When Nathaniel awoke he realized he had been giving the dirty goodbye.
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Order 4 tacos then use getting napkins as an excuse to leave the restaurant in order to lie down on the sidewalk and shout "THIS IS NORMAL IN ASIA!" followed by multiple Uber cancellations before finally getting an Uber to go 5 blocks home.
Yeah man, it's crazy.... after she pulled a Lexi goodbye, I was left with no napkins and 4 tacos all to myself so I gave some tacos to a homeless dude.
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You’re out with friends, you gotta leave. You have some good kool aid and corn at home. So you say “you have to go to the bathroom”. Then you leave.
Kelsey is out with her friends. She’s gotta make that kool aid and corn. So she does a Nebraska goodbye.