The Grandfather Paradox

The best Catch-22 of them all: What if your grandfather was a truly horrific person and you were forced to go back in time and kill him before he could do those bad things. But, if you succeed and your grandmother hasn’t been impregnated with your dad or mum yet, you would not be born, and if you weren’t born, nobody killed your grandfather and well… you know where this is going.

Person 1: “Yo, what’s your favourite paradox?”
Person 2: “It’s The Grandfather Paradox. Such a fascin-.”
Person 1: “Fuck off, it’s so overrated.”

grandfather loaf

An enormous turd.

"Dude, come look at the majestic Grandfather Loaf I just left in the toilet!"

grandfather's bags

When you put duck tape on your balls and take it of after about 15 min they become wrinkly

I was in sauna with this guy and hes balls looked like grandfather's bags

Grandfather Stitch

The extra stitch added to episiotomy (taint) sutures to make the vagina just a little bit tighter after child birth.

“You need to ask the doctor to give her a grandfather stitch to return that cooch to factory-new condition.”

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grandfather clock

a big hangy thing that ticks when it swings

A HUGE DICK (swings like a grandfather clock)

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grandfather clock

When your girlfriend won't let you have sex with her because of her period.you then convince her to let you pull out her tampon with your teeth, you then sit on her chest and hold her arms down as you proceed to swing the blood soaked plug over her face like a pendulum

I gave Kristi a grandfather clock today

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Grandfather clause

When a patron that isn't of legal drinking age enters an establishment before it transitions from restaurant status to bar/club status thus bypassing ID checks at the door.

Geoff: "Grant, let's all go celebrate your birthday at that new establishment and get you really drunk so your girlfriend can take full advantage of you."
Grant: "But my girlfriend isn't legal drinking age yet."
Geoff: "No worries, lets get there early and she can use the grandfather clause."
Grant: "That seems appropriate."
Kris: "People do that."
Nicole: "That makes sense."
Geoff: "I'm sure there's no science to support that."

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